Get over it!

A while back I wrote about being a grownup. Recently, I have been thinking once more about grown-up behavior. Judith Viorst wrote the book that I might have written called “Grown-Up Marriage.” In it she talks in depth on the subject– in a very entertaining manner, by the way. I highly recommend it.

But being a grown-up is important in all of our relationships. All of us have values. There are behaviors that we dislike in others. Yet, sometimes when we see others “behaving badly,” particularly our family members, we forget what our values are and we violate them by getting hostile, sarcastic, and worse. We forget that we really like being loving accepting people. Worse, if the other person has acted in an unkind or thoughtless manner, he or she may have just been having an off day and perhaps wasn’t thinking. If we allow that behavior to fracture a relationship that we had valued, then we are violating our own values. Sure, the other person was thoughtless. Sure, he/she shouldn’t have said or done what he/she said or did, but if we are grownups and value the relationships we have with our family members, we realize that a fractured relationship reverberates throughout the family and forgiveness and reconciliation must occur for the family as a whole to heal.

Sure, we are hurt. Sure, we feel devalued. But we need to get over it. Pride in one’s self can come from being the grown-up and getting back to the business of creating harmony and warmth and security and love with those who we care about.

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  1. Since I have become older and “grown up” I realize that what anyone–family member, friend, or acquaintance says or does to try to offend me is but a tiny drop when compared to the scope of everything that comprises my life. So what do I care if someone says something silly? I imagine I offend other people two. A famous person once said that we should get the two by four out of our own eye before complaining about the bit of straw in someone elses eye.

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