Dr Savta’s web log

When I first moved into my house, I wrote the following article. I am posting it now because we are soon going to be starting on renovations and I am recalling the first time.

Note, I skip the part where I had hired people who *said* they were expert electricians, plumbers, and floor tile layers who ended up not only being disasters in all three areas (I had experts in each field come into the house and all of them pointed out the same problems with the work in their area of expertise) but actually did damage to the house that I ended up paying to repair. Later they threatened to sue me for the remainder of the money, but armed with pictures of the destruction they wrought, we were able to convince them that they were getting off easy if we didn’t sue them.

but I digress…

Here is what I wrote then. I hope that this time I will come out of it as well as I did then.

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“My blood pressure is HOW high!! my cholesterol is up; my ankles are swollen. This can’t be happening to me. After all, I’m only 26. Well, OK, my oldest child is 31, but I only feel like 26. How can this be?”

That’s what I said to myself when I made my last visit to my doctor in Jerusalem last May, about a week before I was scheduled to move to Modi’in. It was hard to believe that I had let myself get to this point. The doctor was not worried. But all I could think about was that I was slowly killing myself with the weight I had gained and the troubles it was causing in my body. I thought it would be really ironic to have come this far and done this much just to throw my life away over croutons and salad dressing, the high calorie stuff I poured over my tomatoes and cucumbers in an effort to diet.

But the move to Modi’in turned out to be my salvation because the inept shiputznikim [renovators] I had hired enabled me to go on the “no-kitchen diet.” Here’s how it works: You bring over a lift [shipment] from America that arrives exactly one day after you move into your apartment which is just fine except for the kitchen. So by the time your lift arrives and you place huge boxes containing all of your major appliances completely filling the living room and dining area, you have demolished two walls of the kitchen and realize that to open any of the boxes is dangerous because there will be days or weeks of flying debris to say nothing of the deadly quantity of dust and plaster that can invade anything that would make life pleasant (like a TV, for example.) But finally, after two or three days, you open the box with the refrigerator which now stands somewhere in the middle of what will be the dining room (probably in the next millenium, you think) and is separated from you by only a hallway, several piles of broken cement, cinderblock, concrete, plastic sheeting, electrical tubing, and a sand covered surface that will be under the floor tiles once they are replaced. Of course to protect the refrigerator from the debris, it remains in the box with only three seams cut to create a makeshift door in the box and a small area for air circulation behind it.

Now comes the fun part. You want to eat, but you can’t cook anything and the idea of even getting to the fridge is daunting. Fruit seems like a lot of effort. Cokes have to be poured and there’s no place to store a plastic cup or even to put one down should you want to pour, so the solution seems to be cottage cheese which can be eaten out of its container with a plastic spoon. To avoid excess fat, of course, you choose the .5% cottage cheese that, with a little nutrasweet, tastes almost like a treat.

Fast forward now to the chanukat habayit [house warming]. Yes, we made it. After a switch in shiputznikim [jokers] and a million missteps, the house was ready. The family came from far and wide, and here is the very best part: when we took the family picture, I fit. Yes, the “no-kitchen diet” did its magic.

So you want to hear about the family…

Well, there is my generation. We are a total of three people: my husband, my sister, and I. My husband was a chaplain in the US Army and a civilian rabbi until he came to Israel on aliya in 1999. My sister has been working in the Philadelphia Prisons for a very long time (around 30 years). She’s a social worker. See. That was easy.

I’ll tell you a little more about each of them.

My husband and I first met the summer he turned 21 and I was approaching 16. He had already graduated from college and was starting rabbinical school and I was returning that fall to start my junior year in high school. We were just friends. I had a kind of a crush on him, but girls that age are always having crushes and it’s probably only a coincidence that we ended up getting married. We simply stayed in touch long enough until both of us were in a position to think of marriage seriously. I’m not sure I knew what I was doing when I married him, but so far it’s worked out well (and it’s 42 years.) One of the big things he has going for him is that he is able to put up with me.

My sister has been with me for all but the first 4.5 years of my life. She has always been my friend. Even when I didn’t treat her very well, she was my friend. We supported each other through difficult, but very different childhoods. She was the favored child and I the child who was the recipient of most of our mother’s anger. I think she had the harder job. I knew I could never please my mother. She thought she could. Through the years, through ups and downs, we have remained close and although we live far apart, we never really *are* far apart.

So that’s this generation… next, some musings about some of my kids (hopefully in a way that won’t embarrass them too much.)

I walked out into the hot sun this morning on my way to synagogue and suddenly I was hit by a strong memory, so vivid I could not only see and hear it, but I could smell it and touch it…

It is summer of 1952. I am six years old, going on seven. This summer my parents, my aunt and uncle, and my grandparents have rented a huge house in Atlantic City, New Jersey for the ten weeks of school vacation. All of us are living in the house- but my father and uncle and grandfather leave each Monday morning to go to work in Philadelphia. They visit on Tuesday and Thursday evenings and leave again the next mornings and they return on Saturday evening.

Life is good. My mother and my aunt Mildred have a lot in common and they get along well together. My grandmother likes sharing a home with her daughter and daughter-in-law and 3 of the 4 grandchildren they produced. My cousin Murray goes to overnight camp and is not home this summer.

The house is wonderful. It has about 20 clocks with chimes so that each hour, we have a symphony. It has two staircases and a room with a window seat and a porch that wraps around one side. We have a 45 rpm record player and we can listen to children’s songs whenever we want. We also hear a lot of Frank Sinatra and Eddie Fisher.

But the most wonderful part of this summer is that now that I am getting big, I have a lot of freedom to do things on my own. There is a pharmacy down the block where I went to buy my parents an anniversary card. It was a wonderful card with a paper disk that you could use to change the number of years. It made me happy to be able to get it for them. When I gave it to my mother, I expected she would be surprised and happy. I had kept it a secret. When she opened it, she said, “You have the number of years wrong.”

The best part of my freedom is that I am able to ride my bicycle on the boardwalk in the morning, all alone, by myself.

Atlantic City has a rule that you could ride on the boardwalk from 6:30 to 9:00 a.m. and so I walk down the brick steps in the front of our house, open the garage, get out my bike, and take it up to the boardwalk to start riding. Sailing along the boardwalk, at first I see the ocean to my right beyond a long stretch of white sand. The sand is so fine it just falls away as you walk on it, but when the sun has been beating down on it, it gets very very hot. I love building sand castles nearer the water where the sand is damp and packed down.

I look to my left and see the beautiful lawns with hydrangeas in pinks and purples and blues and petunias in pinks and purples and white and red and the marigolds in yellows and oranges. The flowers are so bright I feel as if I want to make them part of me. I want to keep their beauty with me all of the time.

Now the shops begin. They are wonderful. There is the “Million Dollar Pier” that has rides and games. My grandfather goes there to win stuffed animals for us children. There is the shop where they have a pitcher of orange juice that keeps pouring but never runs out. There is “Teepee Town,” a store that has all sorts of Indian items including feathered headdresses and beaded bracelets and beautiful leather and suede jackets with long fringes. Walking into “Teepee Town,” you can enjoy the smell of the leather. There is the salt water taffy shop where my mother often buys us “paddles,” chocolate covered salt water taffy on a stick. Farther up the boardwalk are shops that sell beautiful ladies’ jewelry and dresses and hats. There is “Mr. Peanut,” the Planter’s store just opposite the “Steel Pier” and the place on the corner of Virginia Avenue that sells the foot-long hot dogs. I haven’t even mentioned the beautiful hotels– the Traymore, the Shelbourne, the Chalfonte-Haddon Hall- many built in art deco style. And then there’s the Traymore Fountain- beautiful by day, lit in colors in the evening.

My ride is a feast for the senses- the wind in my hair, the sun on my face, the wondrous smells, the beautiful sights, and the feeling of freedom. I ride until just past New Jersey Avenue to where I get to the end of the smooth bicycle strip and turn around and return home. Nothing I will do today will be as wonderful as this ride– but tomorrow, I get to do it all over again.

Our last day in Los Angeles was eventful. We spent the morning picking up last minute items, packing our things, and straightening the place where we were staying. I was seated at the computer when suddenly the room began to move– it seemed one corner of the the room lifted and then the other and the mirror on the wall went swinging and the blinds were moving back and forth. There was no mistaking that it was an earthquake. I thought about having seen the Wizard of Oz display in Kansas and I thought about the fact that the guest house we were staying in was not very different in size or shape from Dorothy’s house and it too was being buffeted. I can’t say I was afraid. I only worried that somewhere people were being hurt.

Fortunately, when the news media funally reported the quake, it was determined that there had been very little damage and no injuries. They said it was the strongest quake felt in the city since the Northridge earthquake in 1994! What a farewell!

We went out for a pleasant lunch with friends, and then at about 6 pm, we headed toward the airport to return the car and begin our journey home.

Good things about our trip home:
1. No overweight charges
2. They checked our luggage through to Tel Aviv
3. The planes left close to on time
4. Spending time with my sister in New York
5. It’s over

Bad things about the trip home
1. Cramped plane seats
2. Unpleasant people in front who liked to recline at all times, including mealtime
3. Unpleasant person in back who liked to put his feet all the way beneath my seat so that when I sat normally, the toes of his shoes scratched the backs of my legs. (When I turned around to see what was happening, he lifted his fingers, pointed to himself and smiled– but continued to put his feet there through most of the 8 hour flight.)
4. Not enough room to stretch out, causing me to adopt odd postures to try to sleep including the one where I moved my body to one side and my head to the other and stretched my neck to such a degree that I am sure I resembled a body discovered on CSI. It didn’t feel so good either.
5. Looking like a total dork with a blindfold around my neck (so I could use it when I wanted to sleep), earphones sticking out of the pocket of my magic vest* (from my iPod, so that I could drown out the ambient sound so that I could sleep), and one of those inflatable u-shaped pillows aroumd my neck. Despite all of that, I was still uncomfortable.
5. The sounds and smells of airline food by the time it’s the third or fourth time in the trip.

But coming home was the best! Our daughter Rachel and her youngest child Yirmi were there to greet us with a cold diet coke and lots of smiles and when we got home, there was her adorable husband and one of their gorgeous daughters and our younger daughter and her little girl whose hair now curls and is now taking steps!

Now there is only the task of putting things away and cleaning the house (I forgot we live in a desert and was not happy to note that while we were away a truckload of dirt blew through…)

It’s really good to be home.

*some day when I am out of things to write about, I will tell you about my magic vest.

My son Sam has always been kind of flamboyant. OK, not “kind of.” But today he arranged the most spectacular event. And who would have suspected?

As I mentioned, he and his wife went out of town (or so they said) yesterday, and this morning, as I sat in this very seat, the entire city of Los Angeles shook. Now this wasn’t a gentle rocking, like I had felt in Jerusalem about 12 or 13 years ago- this was a shake with the place we are staying moving side to side and up and down in a pretty uncoordinated way. For a long time– the mirror on the wall and the wand to close the blind must have still been swaying a couple of minutes after the shaking stopped.

It reminded me of something that happened about 30-some years ago… We were on a bus in the city of Worms, Germany, and the bus driver got too close to the side of the road and scratched the windows of the bus along a sign. Suddenly there was a hush in the bus and a little voice, Sam’s, that said, “At least I didn’t do it.”

I’m thinking he’s going to say the same thing this time. Like that time, I think I’ll believe him.

I don’t mean to be paranoid. Really. But let’s look at what happened:

I arrrived in LA to spend time with my son and his family. His wife’s parents and sister have graciously hosted us. Until yesterday. When my daughter-in-law’s parents left for a three day vacation. And this morning, when my son and his wife flew off to Las Vegas for a quick get-away.
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Yesterday, we went with my son and his wife and their children to the museum of natural history. We had a great time seeing the animals- African and North American and a dinosaur skeleton that was being restored and some lovely snakes and spiders and other creepy crawlies. After that we went to an ice skating rink where the children had a great time! Many of them skated with little walkers that helped them keep their balance.

Today we went to the sight most yearned for by Americans transplanted to Israel: Target. Yes, it was fun. We even spent a little money there. We bought another bag to transport our goodies in. Then we had lunch (fish) and cashed the rest of the US Savings Bonds we had brought and then went to The Grove, a lovely outdoor shopping area where we wandered around, enjoyed the scenery and marvelled at the amount of money people were spending on the American Girl dolls and all of the clothes and accessories that go with them. We saw one of the dolls set up to look as if she were ironing. I couldn’t help thinking that her owner *should* have the money to buy her a housekeeper.

My husband says I should mention that I displayed great self-control by passing up a blouse that had been reduced from $1800 to a mere $700.

Walking through the Grove, we heard nice music and watched the dancing waters of the fountain that were coordinated with the music. It was a bright and sunny day.

Tomorrow: Our last day in LA

Our rides through LA on the way to and from my husband’s cousin’s home were really fascinating. we had heard many of the names of roads we drove and roads we passed, of places in the area, of sections of the city, but we were able to put a picture with the name now.

A picnic with the youngest twins (my older daughter has twins and my middle son and his wife have two sets of twins!) in the park was a perfect way to spend a relaxing Friday noon.

Shabbat was lovely– with kind people to talk to and nothing for me to prepare or clean up.

Not much to write… must be that laid-back California feeling is finally getting to me.

My friend Sandy sent this title as a comment on a recent post. And it is so very true. Despite the fact that we have been having a wonderful vacation and lots of adventures, the very best part of it so far was returning to see my son and his family and my daughter and her two sons. What happiness it is to be in the arms of the people you love!

On Wednesday, when we went to Universal Studios, I enjoyed the free time to talk with my daughter and have some of that mother/daughter time that we lack because she is busy taking care of her own active family and working. It was nice to walk together and to talk about nothing in particular, but just enjoy being together. It was wonderful to see my husband with our daughter and our grandsons enjoying his birthday in such a festive atmosphere. I loved being able to give my grandsons hugs and I was captivated by the smiles of my youngest grandson, now four months old and completely happy all day long! Last night, I enjoyed hearing my son’s stories about the cruise he was on while we were in Alaska. He surely does know how to have adventures! I loved watching him cuddle his older daughter as he sat and talked with us. And I loved talking with another son via Skype this morning. It was so good to hear his voice and to be able to exchange thoughts and ideas.

I suppose this is the reward that some of us parents are lucky enough to get for all of those endless days when we wondered if all of the work and all of the emotional investment would ever be worth it. It was worth it. Every second. It was SO worth it.

And so it is in this context I want to talk about yesterday.

After spending a lovely morning with a lot of the people I have mentioned, we set off to see my husband’s cousin. They are first cousins who last saw each other over 50 years ago!!! For a long time, they were out of contact, but in recent years, through the wonder of email, they reconnected. Although I had never met him or his wife, I felt as if I were seeing family. They were warm and kind and open and friendly and totally delightful despite his being an author of several well-known books and the winner of an Oscar for a screenplay he wrote and her also being an author, well known in her native country. As I watched the two men walking side by side on a sinlit, wind-swept cliff overlooking the Pacific, I was touched by the poignance of older and younger cousin reconnecting and sharing memories and information with each other and each of them finding missing pieces of themselves in the other. Maybe that’s what relating is families is really all about. Maybe when we connect deeply with our family, we are finding pieces of ourselves in them and they in us and all of us are becoming more whole.

As I embraced his wife, I couldn’t help feeling that I would soon be leaving something very precious behind. But I will always treasure the day.

** See update at bottom

On our last morning in Seattle, we set out for the Cambodian museum. I had found their web page and was very interested in going and learning more about Cambodia and the Cambodian people. We traveled about 45 minutes, got exactly to the location, and were told that the museum had moved to the Chinese Museum in town. Thirty minutes later we entered the Chinese Museum. It was dedicated to the immigrant experience of Chinese, Japanese, Vietnamese, and other Asian people who settled in Seattle. The museum was housed on the site of a hotel that was the first home to many of these immigrants and had opened nearly a century ago. It was well-preserved and the guided tour highlighted the poignance of the immigrant experience, one that felt very familiar as I have come to know the history of my own family and how they established themselves in the US. It was an interesting place to visit, but not at all what we would have chosen, nor what we had anticipated. Oh, and a few items from the Cambodian Museum will go on display sometime in the fall.

We flew to Los Angeles, went to pick up our rental car, and found that we could choose a minivan for the same money. We did.

When finally we got to the home of our daughter-in-law’s parents, we were greeted by all of the grandchildren present and by our son and daughter. It was a very very happy homecoming.

This morning, my daughter and I went to Target. Now that doesn’t sound so surprising, but it was the first Target I was in on this trip. I didn’t need anything, but I didn’t think they would let me out of America if I hadn’t had at least one look at it. Impressive. But not worth moving for.

We spent the rest of the day with my daughter and her 12 year old son and her 4 month old son at Universal Studios. It was an enjoyable day. We saw and did a lot of fun things. At 5 p.m., my son’s 12 year old and 10 year old sons joined us. They had been there also with their camp, but when the other campers went home, they stayed on with us. The three big boys really enjoyed spending time together and enjoyed the experiences they had at the park. The minivan came in handy!!

When we returned (at about 9:30) a big and delicious spaghetti dinner was waiting for us. it was a good day… and a wonderful way to spend my husband’s birthday!!!!

* My favorite Joshua Kadison song
** triLcat writes: the song is called “Picture Postcards From LA”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=kXPKNiUFPls

This is the second time I am writing this. The first time, my explorer crashed and took all of my words of wisdom with it. I suppose it is only poetic justice since I was ruminating about the suitcase I had bought in China last summer that is slowly regaining its former state of volcanic ash. Suffice it to say, that if I lose it, I will ask those looking for it to look for a large rectangular cube of duct tape.

We arrived in Seattle on Sunday morning and drove into town. We parked near the city hall and walked to Pioneer Square, the oldest part of Seattle (settled in about 1852). We then walked north, parallel to the water (Elliot Bay), through the market, and then toward the Space Needle. The Seattle Space Needle was built for the 1962 World’s Fair, and until now, it continues to bring in profits. Actually, the whole area around it is parks and museums (the science museum and the science fiction museum) and fairgrounds and amusement park. The view from the top is spectacular as Seattle is all water and trees as far as the eye can see with that exquisite Mount Rainier in the background, like a floating apparition.

We eventually made it back to the car and finally arrived at the home of friends of our son and daughter-in-law. The view from the front of their home is not to be believed– Mount Rainier and a beautiful lake! (It’s why I am Speechless in Seattle.) This couple is warm and hospitable beyond anything I could have imagined. They have two bright and adorable children.

This morning we went for a walk around a peninsula that juts into the lake just a couple of blocks away. The walk, we are told, is about 2.5 miles, but it was so beautiful that it seemed to be over very quickly.

Later, we went to a Japanese Garden. We had been curious as to what a Japanese garden would look like because we understood that they were quite different from Chinese gardens. Now we understand a lot better. Japanese gardens are very green and very disciplined. Chinese gardens are wilder, contain oddly shaped rocks and representations of animals, and buildings. The garden we saw was very beautiful and it was quiet and calming.

We then went to the Boeing museum of flight. Despite the fact that we had limited time there, we enjoyed reading about and see pictures and films of the early days of flight, of some of the early planes that were built, of how the planes fared in the World War I– it all was fascinating.

To cap an almost perfect day, we went out to a vegetarian Chinese restaurant, one that is under kosher supervision, downtown. The food was fantastic!

Tomorrow– on to Los Angeles!

p.s. I have added more pictures here