Top Ten Reasons I’m Glad to be Home

10. Unlimited opportunity to brag about my son to other family members
9. Smokeless environment
8. Warmer temperatures
7. Radio knows how to speak a language I can understand
6. Room lights turn on without inserting card in slot
5. Annoying chimes heard on the hour are in my living room, not in church located within deafening gonging distance
4. Access to heating food without walking down a long hall with a hot pot full of boiling water to pour over the sealed food packets in the sink a minimum of 5 times
3. No more Argentinian ready-to-eat kosher meals. (Don’t ask!)
2. Fewer lions dressed up in alpine costumes (at least for the next day or two)
And the number one top reason I have for being glad to be home:
My family (need I say more?)