What happened next

So there we were, 6 a.m. taking off from Beijing. It’s always sad to leave China. If you haven’t been there, you have no idea of why. If you have been there, you are probably nodding your head and thinking about when you can return. China is a beautiful country filled with friendly, beautiful people. Chinese people work hard, but with a smile on their face, and greet tourists with smiles and friendship.

For example, while walking through my favorite market, one of the salespeople said to me, “I remember you!” I said, “You do? From when?” and she answered, “From now and from here.” We both smiled.

But I digress…

We were leaving China on an Aerosvit flight via Kiev, Ukraine. We had gotten to the ticket counter early, and so we were able to get bulkhead seats with lots of leg room. The flight, although 9 hours long with no films or other entertainment, was pleasant. People were quiet and I was able to sleep for a good period of time.

It still was good to land in Kiev, despite the fact that there was no time to leave the airport.

Landing in Kiev

After proceeding through security, we were among the first to get our boarding passes for the follow-on flight to Tel Aviv. That meant that once again, we were able to get seats with decent leg room which was nice.

We had about 3 hours to wait for our next flight. The airport waiting hall is one huge room with poor acoustics and hard chairs. There were large numbers of people and since I had my suitcase and my back pack, I decided not to wander into any of the shops. I just sat and tried to read and listen to my iPod.

However, at a certain point, I started to hear the crying of a little girl. She was about 5 years old and very very cute. Her distress was over the fact that her parents would not buy her a stuffed toy dog. She was crying incessantly. Her parents came and sat down a seat or two away from me. The little girl continued crying insisting that her parents buy her the stuffed toy dog. Finally, her father began to reason with her. He said, “Look, here in your back pack are the 7 new stuffed dogs that we bought you.” He took them out one by one. Yes, there were 7 brand new, tags still affixed, stuffed toy dogs. This did not placate her. She still needed the one she had seen in the store. Her father said, “I promise you I will buy you another dog when we get back to New York.” I just listened.

The father took the girl for a walk. She thought he was going to get her another dog. I wondered whether I should talk to the mom.

She was a very pretty young woman. She was tall and slender and well dressed. I began to speak with her. She was Ukrainian and married to an American, living in New York. They had come, for the first time in three years, to visit her parents. They had visited for three weeks. Since the mother had always spoken to her daughter in Ukrainian, the child was fully able to communicate with her grandparents. They were thrilled to see her and there was nothing she wanted that they did not give her. Now, the child was leaving Ukraine, not sure when she would see her grandparents again. The mother explained that usually her daughter was easier to deal with, but they were at a loss as to what to do now.

I told her that I was a marriage and family therapist and that I understood that at times of transition, people don’t act the way they normally do and that helping their daughter to deal with leaving her grandparents and returning to her old life was a good thing to do. The mother knew that the additional stuffed dog was not going to make the child happy, but she didn’t know what to do to get her out of her ongoing demands for it.

When the father and child returned, I tried to think of something that I had that would interest the child. Fortunately, in my magic vest (the one I wear when I am traveling) I had a small laser pointer. I showed the child how to push the button to make a red dot on the floor. She was fascinated. She made the red dot travel the floor. Then it landed on her mother’s shoes. Mother played along, trying to brush it off her shoes. Then it landed on her father’s shoes. He tried to shake it off. Then it landed on my shoes, Crocs, a perfect target. With all of the holes in the top, she was able to aim the red dot at each of the holes and skip from one to the other. Soon she was giggling and happy and starting to examine her father’s throat.

While this was going on, the mother asked me what to do about a child who is stubborn. I told her that stubbornness is what enables people to study hard, work hard, and achieve. I told her she was lucky to have a child who knows what she wants and works hard to pursue it.

Soon they called my flight. I asked the child for my pointer. Unprompted, she handed it to me with a smile and said, “Thank you.”

And then I headed in the direction of home.

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