and the pictures from today can be found at this link
It was great having the family together!
Archives for 2008
Who’s afraid of Sarah Palin?
September 15, 2008 by
I’m trying to understand it. I’m trying to understand why people are so frightened by Sarah Palin. Because I can only think that fear is driving otherwise rational people to write and speak in ways they themselves never would have dreamed they would.
I remember when Barry Goldwater was running for president. All of the people I knew were convinced that if he won, we would have a nuclear war. No one trashed him, mocked him, or denigrated him the way they are doing it to Sarah Palin. I don’t get it.
I don’t get that if she made a personal decision to continue a pregnancy with a child with disabilities that that means she would force others to make the same choice. She never said that. She never tried to impose her will on others. In fact, in good feminist tradition, she took control of her own body and decided what she wanted to do. Isn’t that “choice?”
But that isn’t the only thing people are angry at. They have hundreds of justifications for why she is unfit. I remember a long time ago one of my professors taught us that one reason is sufficient– and if there are a large number of reasons, then we call that rationalization.
What do *I* think? I am not sure it matters at all, except when I vote. I can tell you this: I am not afraid of Sarah Palin. I actually think that she is refreshingly real. And she surely is not what those who fear her make her out to be. If I were going to rant, she wouldn’t be the one I would rant about.
…and sometimes, just like that, He changes His mind
September 14, 2008 by
I have seen a decent number of films in my life. One of them that became iconic for me was “The Frisco Kid.” In it, a young, somewhat foolish, certainly naive new rabbi is sent by his eastern European yeshiva to serve a congregation in San Francisco. Our hero, played by Gene Wilder, arrives in the US in Philadelphia and the film covers his journey across the US where he meets the Amish (and thinks they are chassidim), a thief (Harrison Ford), and Indians, among others. He has many adventures.
At one point, the Indians, having decided that he was worthy of continuing to live because of his courage in preserving his sefer torah, ask him to ask his G-d to make it rain. It seems there has been a very long drought and they have prayed and danced and drummed, all to no avail. Our hero says, “My G-d doesn’t work like that,” meaning that he did not believe that his prayers would produce the much desired rain on demand. They insist he pray. He responds again, “My G-d doesn’t work like that” and then the heavens open up and the rain begins to fall- lots of it- and the people are ecstatic, and our hero says “…and sometimes, just like that, He changes His mind.”
I think of that whenever I am in a situation that seems hopeless. Things are not going well and despite a lot of effort, nothing seems to help. And then, all of a sudden, things get better. It happens to therapy clients. It happens to people in interpersonal relationships. It happens to people who are learning to do something that is awkward and difficult and then suddenly, it is second nature.
Life seems sometimes to offer discontinuous results. Things pop out of the air– things that one might have wished or hoped or prayed or worked hard for- and suddenly, at the most unexpected time, they happen. Good things.
Each year, just before Rosh HaShana I try to think of what I would like to wish those I love. Maybe this year, it be that these types of wonderful surprises will happen for them.
If my life were a Hallmark film
September 10, 2008 by
The film could open with the caption “September 10, 1972 — Fort Campbell, Kentucky”
We would be sitting around the kitchen table:
my husband in uniform
Benjy, blond haired, sparkling blue-eyed, inquisitive, 5 years old
Rachel, long silky haired, always busy, bubbly, full of laughter, 3 years old
Shmuly, curly brown-haired, devilish grinned, very cuddlesome, almost 2 years old
Akiva, blond haired, blue eyed baby, 5 months old
My husband would say to me, “Happy Birthday!” and I would look around the table and feel totally blessed. And he would say, “Now what do you wish for?”
And I would answer, “I want all of these children to have wonderful happy, healthy lives and to grow up and do meaningful things– to be kind to each other and to other people- to be sensitive and caring.
And he would say, “But for yourself…”
And I would say, “I want to live to see them grow up to adulthood.”
And he would say, “What would be your wildest dream?”
And I would say, “OK, I want to live to see Akiva’s wife give birth to their 6th child”
And he would laugh. And I would laugh, looking at our tiny baby.
And then the film would fade to today– and we would be picking up the phone and hearing,
“It’s a boy!”
Parents and children
September 8, 2008 by
One of the things I like to do is to listen to Garrison Keillor and “Prairie Home Companion.” I love the wholesome (for the most part) Americana. I enjoy his story telling and the skits. Last night I was listening to a recent show and he ended it with singing “I still can’t say goodbye.” The song really touched me and so I found it on YouTube and listened a couple more times to let whatever it was that I was feeling wash over me.
What I was feeling was a longing for my father. I think it’s true that I still can’t say goodbye. He was a good man. He was gentle and loving. He taught me a lot about life. He was very deep and thoughtful. And I miss him. And yes, I still can’t say goodbye even though he’s been gone for 23 years.
I made me think about this: all of the time i was raising my children, I never felt as if I was very important in their lives. I knew they needed me physically to take care of them. They needed me to wash their clothes and make their meals and to buy them the things they needed– but I never had the sense that on a deep level they really needed me or even loved me. And they were good kids– every one of them. They were bright and clever and even mostly obedient. Yet I never had the feeling that I was all that important to them as a person beyond providing what they needed.
Did my father feel that way about me? Did my mother? For as difficult a person as she was, she was enormously important to me. Despite her moods and her critical manner, all I wanted was her approval and her love. If she was angry with me, the whole world looked gray. If she was happy, I was elated. Did she know how much power she had?
Do any of us parents really know how important we are to our children?
Doings
September 7, 2008 by
We are still working on clarifying exactly what renovations we want to do, but we are very close to complete agreement. Then only item that is still unclear is one we only decided on adding within the last week. I am hoping that this week we will have a final plan and then can begin the process.
We had the pleasure of hosting a cousin of mine and her husband and daughter for shabbat. They are really wonderful people and we enjoy their visits a great deal. We were happy that as usual, our younger daughter and her husband and their daughter Kinneret were at services with us on Friday evening and very pleasantly surprised when our granddaughters Hadas, Lilach, Abigail, & Nomi came in followed by their mom and baby brother Yirmi (their brother Matan went to sit next to his Saba). How beautiful to see all of those gorgeous happy faces!
Last night we brought Sweet Pea and her parents home from the hospital.
We are on alert for the next birth… baby is due in 2 more days and mom is usually on time (this is her 6th!!!!!!)
And for the most distinctive aspect of this day– Today is the 9th birthday of the lovely Miss Dina Michelson!!
Notes
September 3, 2008 by
Note to OB/GYN staff: If the woman is doubled over in pain by contractions that have been coming every 2.5 minutes for the last 6 hours, she *is* in labor and deserves a place to lie down.
Note to charge person at labor and delivery: If a patient’s advocate tells you that there is no staff person– no doctor, nurse, midwife, or janitor– in the triage area for the last 20 minutes and then tells you they’ve checked by opening the doors of all of the rooms (all 4 of them) and finding no one, please try not to say “There is a midwife there.”
Note to big hospital complex: A place that sells foodstuffs other than soda, coffee and over-sugared pastries (perhaps even a vending machine!) should be open 24 hours.
Note to Hadassah ladies: We love your medical center. It is big and beautiful. It has lots of nice buildings, lots of intelligent, innovative and very kind people working there. Please send us some more anesthesiologists so that a woman in labor can get an epidural in less than 5 hours from when she is promised.
Note to G-d: Thank you for letting me witness a miracle today.
First day of school
September 1, 2008 by
About 27 years ago I took my youngest child to nursery school. She was the fifth child in the family and as with the others, I felt happy.
The parents were asked to stay for the introductory session and after the teachers greeted the children and the parents, they gave out little paper cups with juice. As I watched my little girl take the paper cup in her two tiny hands and lift it to her mouth, tears filled my eyes. All I could think of was her vulnerability. She accepted and trusted that what the world was going to give her was healthy and good. She was so vulnerable, so trusting, so fragile and I was to some extent removing myself from the sole job of protecting her. Now I was relying on teachers to do it. But how could they ever care about her the way that I did?
Today I took Abigail to nursery school. It was not her first day; she was in school last year too, but it was her first day this year. She is three years old and looks very much like her mother (my second child). She resembles her in personality as well. She is very verbal, very clever, and she thinks about things you tell her. Today I watched her string beads with a deep concentration, choosing each bead carefully. I watched her play doctor as she typed on the computer keyboard and took a telephone call and checked all of the meds in the medicine cabinet. I watched her in the playground as holding my hand, she balanced herself walking across the tops of tires placed in the sand. As I looked at her serious face, I remembered my education professor reminding us all semester “children’s play is their work.”
I watched Abigail taking her first steps on those tires, spending her first day at school, and I felt incredibly sad.
A embarrassment of riches
August 31, 2008 by
I hope I am not the only one to sometimes look at my life and wonder what I did to deserve all that has been given to me.
We have had a couple of wonderful weeks with children and grandchildren. We have enjoyed immensely the visit of our “bonus” grandson- a kind and clever and bright child who seemed to fit in perfectly with his “cousins.” We are imminently anticipating the birth of two more precious ones…
And today, after about 12 emails of discussion among the family members as to what to do and how and where to do it, we all got together. The problem was not only scheduling, which is always a problem, but also what to do with 23 children in the middle of the day when the sidewalks were hot enough to fry eggs that would meet the needs of little people from 5 months to 12 years (the two 14 year olds were not able to make it). In the end, we showed a movie in our living room with our video projector. It was cool in the house and believe it or not, there were enough seats for all of the children as well as the 12 adults. (Strangely enough, the 4 pregnant women all ended up sitting in the kitchen area…)
Although the pizza delivery took over 1.5 hours from when we ordered it, the pizza was hot (yeah, that was a no-brainer!) and even delicious. And there I was literally surrounded by love in every direction.
Tomorrow our “bonus” grandchild goes home. The other children start school. It was good that we all got to celebrate together the end of the summer vacation.
All alone by the telephone
August 27, 2008 by
Let me preface this posting by noting that since we returned from our US adventure, there have been almost no moments without major activity. Between getting together with children, having grandchildren staying with us, trying to plan for our renovations, seeing clients, and now answering Shai Bar Ilan Geographical Tours toll-free US number on my cell phone, I have been very busy. And although our visitors left the home neat and the linens folded, I don’t have the house looking the way I want it to look.
And I didn’t imagine that I would get a chance to do anything before all of the kiddies are back in school and until the baby we are waiting for (the first of 4 due in the next 5 months) is born.
So today, when my husband took our son-in-law and his son (who is visiting from the States) to mini-Israel, I thought he would be back in an hour or so and our frenetic pace would continue. But he didn’t come back. And the time passed. And although I could have called him, I just kept waiting and watched a little TV (Fox News, to catch up on the latest in the presidential campaign) and read some things on the computer… when a couple of minutes ago (3.5 hours after he left) I got a call from my daughter telling me that they had gone out shopping and that he would be home soon.
And I realized that I had just spent 3.5 hours doing essentially nothing. Aside from answering a couple of emails and a couple of phone calls, I have been alone and idle.
It feels good.
And now, a word from our sponsor…………………………………….(just kidding… I do this all for fun!)
There are a lot of reasons why people should come on our trips to China and to Vietnam/Cambodia. Maybe someday I will list them– but the best reason is that they are fun. On these trip our travelers learn about the history and culture of the countries, see amazing things, visit gorgeous places, meet wonderful people and most of all have a lot of fun. We laugh and enjoy ourselves all day, all the time. We eat delicious food and we spend time with people who will remain our friends long after the trip is over. People who live far apart from siblings or parents find our trips great opportunities to spend time together when no one has to worry about cooking or cleaning or others’ work schedules. If you or anyone you know is interested in our trips, let me know.