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A Party of 8 / Anniversary 43

July 3, 2009 by

If I had been smart, 43 years ago today, I would have prayed that my marriage would be happy. I would have prayed that it be fruitful and yield us a houseful of healthy, beautiful, bright children. I would have prayed that we would live to see them have children of their own.

I didn’t. I was so young and naive and trusting, I just believed that I was walking into a new and wonderful life. I never thought about the details.

And now here I sit with all of those prayers more than answered.

This past week we took six of the oldest grandchildren on a four day cruise on the Mediterranean to celebrate their having reached the age of bar/bat mitzvah (two of them well before the event). I roomed with the three girls and my husband was with the three boys. The children were wonderful. We had only happy times with all of them. They loved exploring the ship, watching the sunset, feeling the strong headwinds while on deck one night, and eating from the buffet. Most of all they enjoyed the land excursions to Marmaris (Turkey), Kos (Greece), and Limassol (Cyprus). They loved shopping and bargaining. They loved interacting with the people on shore.

What I loved was the time to get to know them when no one had to think about preparing meals or washing dishes or cleaning up afterwards. It was just pure pleasure to be with them.

The whole crew in Marmaris

The whole crew in Marmaris

Grandparents: Don’t miss an opportunity to do this for your grandchildren! (and I have a great tour to China that would be just perfect…)

Filed Under: China, Family life, Parenting, Ramblings Tagged With: , , , , , , ,

Seeds and seafaring

June 23, 2009 by

This is a week of anticipation. On Sunday we will be taking 6 of our grandchildren on a cruise. This is not only a very exciting adventure, but it is a lesson in what we therapists call “seeding.”

Our grandson Daniel had his Bar Mitzvah a couple of months ago. Like his father, Daniel has a good sense of humor, and as he spoke about himself and his family, he mentioned something to the effect of our being tour guides and traveling and joked that for our information, he’s free to travel at the end of June.

We came home that night and the seed that he planted in my mind began to grow. Two years ago I had the opportunity to take my oldest grandchild with me on one of the tours I guided to China. We spent 11 days in Beijing and it was a completely wonderful experience. I was lucky enough to have some other young girls on the tour. The girls were 12, 13, 17, 22, & 24 — and amazingly, they really enjoyed being together and formed a little subgroup. Staying in the same hotel gave them an opportunity to get to know the neighborhood and feel at home there. We saw some magnificent sights such as the Great Wall, the Forbidden City- which I talk about here and here and here , and the Summer Palace– a place where the group had a lot of fun! My granddaughter learned to bargain (she’s much better than I am) and she learned some Chinese words, and best of all, we now have a shared experience that was very very special.

It seemed to me that Daniel’s joking about a trip made sense and that there had to be a way that we could treat him to something special. My first thought was that my husband could take him somewhere. Unfortunately, an opportunity like the Beijing trip doesn’t come along very often– perhaps never again since it was pre-Olympics and now everything is much more expensive. Then I began to think, “why should he have all the fun!” and the idea began to form in my head. Finally we decided that we could go on a cruise and take advantage of the fact that the 3rd and 4th passengers in a room were half-price. So we decided that my husband would room with three boys and I with three girls. Our oldest grandson was unable to come with us because he has a bagrut, a Regents- type of exam on Sunday, the day the cruise leaves. So, we looked for the next younger grandson. Unfortunately, he had an end of the year celebration during the time we will be away, so we went for the next one. In the end, we will have three 13 year olds, one 12 year old, and two 11 year olds. We will have two brothers, two sisters, and boy/girl twins with us.

We will be visiting for a couple of hours each in Turkey, Greece, and Cyprus. We think it will be wonderful!

And the most amazing part is that the whole idea came from a little seed that Daniel planted in my brain. See how powerful offhanded jokes can be?

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We know we belong to the land…

June 15, 2009 by

Tonight my husband and I went to Modi’in’s Cultural Center where a visiting troupe was performing the musical “Oklahoma.” We actually had seen “Oklahoma” a few times before. Both of us had seen the film when we were young. We saw it on Broadway in the early years of our marriage. We saw it again when we were living in Oklahoma. Each time we enjoyed it, and seeing it while living in Oklahoma was particularly fun.

But tonight’s performance was amazing. The troupe consisted of old and new olim from many different countries as well as native born Israelis. The lead, “Curly”, was a student from the US currently studying in Israel. The singing and dancing were wonderful and the acting was terrific.

During the intermission we spoke to the couple sitting to our left. They were friendly and nice, She asked where we lived and I said -in Modi’in. I asked where they were from and she said “Gush Katif”- currently living in a “caravilla”.

For those who don’t know, Gush Katif was one of the Jewish communities in Gaza that was brutally evacuated by the Israeli police and Army and razed to the ground in order to guarantee peace with our Arab neighbors. The inhabitants of these communities had begun living there over 30 years before, encouraged by the Israeli government to develop the area and to make it beautiful. And they did. We visited Gush Katif in 1994 and it was beautiful. They had made gardens and greenhouses, had friendly relations with the Arabs in their area, and were living peaceful, happy lives. When the Army evacuated the residents of each of the 17 Jewish communities, they carried men and women and children screaming and crying from their homes and within days the homes were rubble while the people were dumped into hotels and temporary dwellings. Subsequently, the Arabs burned down and destroyed all of the synagogues. The evacuees were promised quick resettlement which some received, to “caravillot” – a contraction of “caravan”, the Israeli term for trailer/mobile home and villa/ot, the Israeli term for a private home that only people with means can afford. The name was just as cruel and ironic as the rest of the evacuation. Almost 4 years later, these people are still living temporarily in these tiny trailers. Many of the farmers who used to export large quantities of food products to Europe and around the world are still out of work. It is an ongoing tragedy.

And tonight, there I sat next to two people who I later found out have been articulate spokespeople on behalf of the former residents of the Gaza communities and together we listened to the people on stage singing out with their whole hearts “we know we belong to the land…”

We do. It is ours. And all we want to do is to continue to live our lives here at peace with our neighbors. May that day come soon.

Filed Under: Israel, Ramblings Tagged With:

Today at the hospital

June 5, 2009 by

I’ve been pretty lucky. I raised 5 children and never had to endure surgery on any of the children. My daughter is not so lucky. Her son, Ephraim, 5 months old, had his second surgery today. He is fine. He was back to himself in no time and he is a healthy little boy who has every chance at living a perfectly normal life. But today was hard.

Yesterday, I referred to the prep day at Hadassah Hospital for children about to have surgery. I thought that it was wonderful for the older children although Ephraim much preferred to think about drinking milk and manipulating his little teething rings.

Today we saw all of the same parents and children. Two by two, children were sent up to the operating suites accompanied by family members. When Ephraim’s turn came, his mom was able to enter the operating room with him and to stay with him until the anesthesia took effect.

Then we waited. The truth is that the surgery didn’t take very long. I think he was out of our sight for about a half an hour. But it was a difficult time. My daughter went to get some coffee, anticipating a much longer wait. While she was gone, the doctor came to call her to be with her child. I went with him and when I heard Ephraim crying I got tears in my eyes, grateful that he was awake and alert and hungry. I started feeding him the milk his mother had expressed and when his mother came in a minute or two later, he snuggled into her arms and continued to feed, feeling safe and secure.

The staff was amazingly kind and friendly. The doctor explained what he had done and assured us that everything was fine and he should have no problems in the future. The clown from yesterday returned to spend time with the children in the recovery room and although Ephraim was not old enough to appreciate him, my daughter and I appreciated his clever way of dealing with us and the others. He was funny and gentle and caring.

Once we left the recovery room we went back to the children’s area where we had been yesterday and where we started out in the morning. The nurse there, the other parents and children, the national service volunteer, all made the stay pleasant. When finally the anesthesiologist came to release the children, we left with our little Ephraim, relieved.

Filed Under: Family life, Parenting, Ramblings Tagged With: , , ,

Notes I could have written today

June 3, 2009 by

1. Dear Hadassah,
You certainly have a lovely hospital out there on Mount Scopus, but would it hurt you to make it accessible to people with disabilities and mothers with strollers? It seems a bit unfair that the only way to avoid flights of stairs from the parking lot to the hospital is to use the very narrow sidewalk that contains one of those revolving gates into which one has to put a stroller between an adult who can push it through the bars and an adult who can pull it through on the other end.

2. And while I’m writing to you, Hadassah, may I add that the program devised for helping little children overcome fears about surgery is wonderful. It was delightful to hear the story of how an operation is carried out and to see the masks and monitoring equipment and to see the children play with modeling clay and eat breakfast together and to have a clown visit, but I am guessing that the 5.5 hours we spent there were pretty much lost on Ephraim who is 5 months old and is made to feel safe and content by drinking milk.

3. Dear Notebook Club,
Remember that computer we bought from you in November with the 22 inch monitor? Remember we were supposed to get in-home service for 3 years on the computer? Remember how suddenly when our monitor stopped working you told us you had nothing to do with it and to take it to the Dell place located in the bowels of Tel Aviv? I’ll bet you want to know what came next. Well, a week later, we picked up what they told us was a new monitor. However, it was unwrapped and had a sign on it that said, “Ready.” We brought it home. It worked for almost a week. I hope you have a creative solution for us that involves delivering a new monitor to our door or we will be looking for every opportunity to tell the world about your great service.

4. Dear President Obama,
I sure feel a lot safer today now that those outposts that were preventing peace have been dismantled. It’s amazing what destroying just a few homes can do. Wow. Peace is on its way.

5. Dear G-d,
It’s been kind of a rough time around here what with health issues and other complications. Could you not have picked a better time for the reappearance of my husband’s gout?

6. Dear World,

Would you please remember to pray for the safe recovery of my grandson, Ephraim Yehoshua ben Leah Gavriella?

Filed Under: Family life, Israel, Ramblings Tagged With: , , ,

Shabbat in Meron

May 17, 2009 by

First of all, I am not going to tell you about Meron. We had a relaxing. pleasant shabbat with a group of friends at the field school near the city of Meron. It looked like nothing so much as a summer camp in the US. It was lush with trees and beautiful wildflowers with paths to walk and beautiful vistas. Although it was in the area of Meron, we were nowhere near the city. Secondly, the pictures I am going to show you were not taken there. Instead, they are among the many pictures I have already taken of our very special Israeli scenery.

What I am going to talk about is that very hard to describe love of the land that Israelis have. It’s not just that this is our home. It’s not just that we have dreamed of it, worked for it, fought for it, and sadly, many have died for it. It is a deep love for the land itself. We love this piece of earth. We love the trees and the flowers and the birds and the animals who inhabit it. We walk its paths. Every weekend when it is not raining (most weekends in Israel) thousands of people go walking on the paths that are laid out in nature. Everyone- from babies on their parents’ back to people with walking sticks and canes- walks through the beauty that is our land. They wear hats and carry water and generously apply sunscreen and often picnic and sometimes swim and some (usually children) even skinny-dip in the streams and pools along the way. And this is what we see:

April in the Galilee

April in the Galilee

Israeli flowers in the Spring

Israeli flowers in the Spring

Flowers in the spring

Flowers in the spring

Flowers in Emek HaEla

Flowers in Emek HaEla

Is it any wonder that we love this land?

Filed Under: Israel, Ramblings Tagged With: , , , ,

Mazal tov, Matan!

May 12, 2009 by

It’s hard to believe, but we are in the full swing of Bar/Bat Mitzvah season… I expect it to last for many years even as wedding season will begin to overlap.

By now there are 3 Bat Mitzvah girls and 2 Bar Mitzvah boys and today, the third put on his tfillin for the first time. All of us went out to celebrate together. OK, not ALL of us, but all of my children and some of the grandchildren.

It says so much about the future- not just the future of our family, but the future of the Jewish people, as I see these young people take their place as contributing members of the community with dedication. Their bright beautiful faces give me hope.

Read what my daughter Rachel said about this special day in her son’s life. here

Filed Under: Family life, Israel, Parenting, Ramblings Tagged With: , , , , ,

Our taxi driver

May 6, 2009 by

Yesterday, my younger daughter and I went to Haifa. Since we wanted to be there by 10 a.m., we decided to go by train and avoid the rush hour traffic. Very shortly into the trip, we were reassured it had been a good choice as we looked out of the window at the parking lot that the Ayalon Expressway had become.

The train ride was pleasant and we finally arrived in Haifa, we found a taxi to take us to where we were going. We got into the taxi and started driving up the mountain. I can’t remember what we were talking about, but the taxi driver indicated that he understood our English and we continued the conversation with him. He asked if we had been in the country for a long time and we told him that we were soon coming up on 14 years. He said he had been here for 9 years and on the 23rd of May, he would be celebrating that anniversary. He asked where we were from and then we asked him where he was from. He said, “Lebanon.” We both stopped to think and after a second he told us, “I was a member of the Southern Lebanese Army (SLA).” Immediately, we began to think of those men who fought alongside the Israel Defense Forces. They and their families had been forced to flee their homeland when our forces withdrew from Lebanon. The only alternative for them was death for them and their families. These men were fighting for the freedom of their own country against terrorists who terrorized not just Israel, but their own people. When we pulled out of Lebanon rapidly, these people had to flee.

There are approximately 350 SLA families living in Israel since May 2000. These people have integrated into the country and are productive members of our society. But it hurts. Our taxi driver said, “I have no one here, only my wife and two children. Everyone else is there. It hurts me to see my house when I look at it from Israel. I haven’t been to the place from where I can see it for 6 years. It hurts too much.” I said to him, “Maybe when the extremists stop their nonsense…” and he responded, “Do you really think that will happen?” My daughter responded, “We are realists too, but we pray that things will change.” I asked him how his life is here in Israel. He said that his life is good. And then he said, “I isn’t easy to leave the place you lived for 32 years.”

Inside, I cried for him. When he dropped us off, I gave him some extra sheqels and said, with my whole heart, “Thank you.”

Filed Under: Israel, Ramblings Tagged With: ,

My father and my grandchildren

May 3, 2009 by

My father died too young.

He was a good man. He was kind and gentle and he loved his family. He loved nature and he loved beauty. He had a pleasant demeanor and everyone he met liked him. He had artistic gifts and was able to draw, paint, sculpt, build furniture, and take amazing photographs. Above all, he was my father.

He lived to see all 5 of his grandchildren. He got a tremendous amount of pleasure from spending time with them and learning of their achievements. I remember the day my oldest son went with him to a Radio Shack and he showed my father what he could make the TRS80 do. My father was completely stunned and amazed. Whenever we visited, he would tell me the same thing as I left: “Drive carefully; you have precious cargo.” He would tell me, “You are rich; you have 5 million dollars.”

As we all do, when happy times come, I think about my father and how I would have wanted him to be with us. Sometimes, though, I get a very clear picture of how it would be. For example, on Yom HaAtzmaut.

He would see and talk to each of my grandchildren. I can see his face beaming as one after the other was a delight for him to meet and get to know. I can see him laughing and joking with them. I can see him looking up in the trees at my little monkeys who have climbed them and shaking his finger and saying “Get down now, boys!” with a big smile on his face. I see him watching the little girls walking to and fro and enjoying the babies and then I see him talking to the children and telling them he wanted to take them up to Titora Hill to take some pictures of them, knowing all along that he would be pointing out the birds and the flowers along the way. I hear him calling them, “Come along, kinderlach!” and I see them happily skipping away after him.

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Update

April 25, 2009 by

It’s been a very busy week, what with the launch of my new web log and learning how to arrange text and pictures and making tons of mistakes and uploading the same pictures 3 and 4 times without understanding that once they are there, they are there…

But it’s an adventure and what’s making it all the more pleasant is the prospect of actually being able to let people see why these tours I do are so incredibly fascinating.

But that’s for the other site..

After all of the excitement of greeting the new Olim who are living in our upstairs apartment and helping them get settled in, preparing for Pesach, having guests from outside of the country, and the Bar Mitzvah or our grandson Daniel, I was under the impression that things would settle down. But no. This week we have Israel’s Memorial Day and following that, Independence Day. That means that two and a half days (remember, Memorial Day starts the evening before) this week will be taken up with these commemorations. And it’s not like the US where you can ignore these days. The stores close. And EVERYONE is involved in one way or another.

Of course the traditional way of celebrating Independence Day here is by having a barbeque. And the truth is that most people do that. Our family, instead, will be meeting for a picnic brunch so that the children can play soccer and generally run around and have fun. Later in the day, I suspect that most of them will be at traditional barbeques while I recover.

Rachel and family, Independence Day, 2008

Rachel and family, Independence Day, 2008

I always wondered how I would deal with the boredom once all of my children were out of the house. I still haven’t gotten to the boredom part. I am indeed blessed!

Filed Under: Family life, Israel, Ramblings Tagged With: ,
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