Happy Pesach!

I was thinking the other day about how nice computers are. They really serve so many purposes. They keep us in touch with people who are far away. They bring us news and information on demand, and they help us to organize things in our life.

However, after today, I am not so sure. Actually, I first became overwhelmed with the possibilities when I returned from China with my 1100 pictures and endeavored to put them in some logical order to show to others. Fortunately, the pictures were taken in order and therefore the digital camera numbered them consecutively, but when one of my children said, “Why don’t you just pick out 100 of the best?” I was not able to do it.

So today I brought home the pictures and CDs of my daughter’s wedding. In addition to the several hundred pictures taken by a friend of the family, we now have an additional 288 pictures. Well, first I had to copy the CDs. Then I had to take each file, open it, and then copy and paste all of the pictures onto my desktop computer. Once all of that was done, I had to download all of the pictures onto my laptop through the LAN. And now I really have to organize the pictures which for some reason are NOT in chronological order! Of course that means interspersing them with the other pictures of the wedding that we already have. I think it was easier when we brought home a stack of photos from the drugstore. We’d look through them and then throw them in a drawer. With film, we would limit the number of pictures we’d take. But digital cameras have made a virtue of excess.

Of course the pictures are beautiful. Everyone looks beautiful and everyone looks happy.

And now I return to the real world… where tomorrow is the day.

Every year as I gear up for Pesach, there is a sequence I follow. I won’t bore you with the details, but suffice it to say that tomorrow is the day that the fridge gets relined, the perishable items get bought, the dishes all go into the dishwasher for storage for the duration of the holiday, the counters and shelves get lined, the toaster and blender get exiled, and finally finally the counters get covered.

Then the Passover dishes will emerge and a certain lightness will enter my heart as the joy of the holiday supersedes all of the work that was necessary to prepare for it. And then will come the pleasure of cooking and baking and making the house look pretty for the guests. I happily anticipate the smiling faces who will join us this year: three of our children, their spouses, seven of the grandchildren, and my sister. A happy holiday to all!

May they continue

I am sitting here and wondering what will come out of my head as the white screen challenges me.

I suppose after weeks of such intense emotional experiences, sitting in my living room and listening to classical music and talking to my sister who is visiting from Philadelphia doesn’t qualify as high drama.

But isn’t that really what life is? Real life is made of moments of intense feeling and longer periods of just living. Life, if we are lucky, remains precious, even when it is as quiet and subdued as a Friday afternoon listening to music and enjoying the presence of people I love and thinking about the first roses blooming outside and the beginnings of the blossoms of the pomegranate tree and the first little plums on the plum tree that was in bloom only a couple of weeks ago. Life can be vastly satisfying when I realize that my children are healthy and happy and doing productive things. Life is beautiful when I think of all of the little growing Michelsons and Ariks and Inbars and how they add so much happiness to my world.

Sometimes I see clients who are living in their private torture chambers. They are racked with fear or emotional pain or terrible memories or anger or desire for revenge. I long to take them for a walk on my path. I want to show them that the world is a place with wonderful possibilities, with unlimited beauty, with opportunities for caring and kindness and love. I want them to be able to release the chains and to knock down the walls they have built around themselves and to appreciate the beauty of the breeze rustling the tree branches, moving the geraniums to wave from the window, to see the beauty of a smile, to feel the warmth of a caress.

The mundane itself is very special. It is the time we get to refuel to have the energy for all of our blessings. May they continue!

Family happy-nings

The week of rejoicing is over. What a week it was!

In the midst of all of the excitement over our younger daughter’s wedding, (you can read it from Leah’s point of view on trilcat.blogspot.com/ ) we had a double celebration over shabbat when along with the family sheva brachot, which our whole family attended, we celebrated the naming of our daughter’s new baby, Naomi Hallel. You can read about her birth at Rachel’s blog fertilitystories.com

One of our sons reminded us that we are told not to impose one happy occasion upon another, so that one would not schedule a double wedding or two other happy occasions for the same day, however, he said, sometimes, they schedule themselves. As the father of two sets of twins, he knew what that was like as his blessings often come in twos. However, he said that when the happy occasions schedule themselves together, we gratefully celebrate them together. He wished us all many more instances of shared happy occasions.

And now to the Passover cleaning!

The Wedding

It was about 1:30 Monday afternoon. We had already dropped off the wedding gown to the place where Leah would dress. In the car were the boutonniers for the men, the flower crowns for the little girls, the bride’s bouquet, and the rose petals. We drove through the Judean Hills to the place where my youngest daughter would be transformed into a bride. When I returned to get her, she was radiant. Her face really was glowing. Her happiness was complete. The day had arrived. Just an hour or so earlier, her sister had called to tell her that despite having given birth to a little girl on Saturday, she would be able to attend the ceremony, on leave from the hospital.

My little bride and I left for the wedding hall, and everything that happened from that moment on was far beyond what we could have imagined. The room looked beautiful. In place of the tiny bud vases that they had agreed to supply with three roses, there were lovely flower arrangements on every table. The wedding planner had placed the candlesticks we brought on each table, had strewn rose petals, had taken care of every detail. The photographer took pictures of all of my beautiful grandchildren in their party clothes and fresh-scrubbed faces. The groom was waiting to begin with the tnaim and his mother and I broke the plate. All was ready.

I went to my daughter’s side. The men were bringing her groom to her. I will never forget the look on his face, the tears in my eyes, the tears running down the face of my older daughter, the happiness that filled the room. The groom left for the chuppah with his mother and we walked our daughter out into the Jerusalem night, stars gleaming, where, surrounded by love, they became husband and wife.

The joy burst into sparkle and fire as the groom’s friends, the jugglers, filled the hall with flying objects and mirth. The Dixieland Jazz band played its banjo and washboard as the jugglers performed. We danced with fans and leis and streamers.

Later, the groom sang to his Eishet Chayil, surprising us with his wonderful singing voice. Then the neices and nephews sang to their aunt and welcomed their new uncle to the family. As the wedding drew to a close, my husband and I and the groom’s mother were crowned with flowers for having married off our last child. Our grandchildren swept the floor with little brooms as was the custom for this song and our children danced around us. “It’s our baby daughter’s wedding.”

After the wedding, I took the young couple to the Kotel (Western Wall) where they went to pray. She was hugged by some of the few young women there who asked for her blessing, as a bride’s blessings are thought to be powerful.

I went home more than content. I was elated. They are full of happiness and carry a deep respect for each other. May G-d grant them a long healthy happy life together and bless them with children whose eyes will shine with the light of Torah.

Beat the Clock

Rachel, our older daughter, was sent to the hospital to be induced on Thursday morning. We followed her progress by phone. By “progress” I mean progress in obtaining a room in which they would be able to induce her. Apparently all of the rooms were full– all of the rooms at Shaarey Zedek Hospital where she was, all of the rooms at Hadassah Ein Kerem, all of the rooms at Hadassah Mount Scopus! In short, unless you were about to deliver imminently, you were in line to be induced.

Thursday passed with no action. Friday brought the news that Rachel was 5th in line. By Friday afternoon, she was second in line, but then someone came and took her place and she remained second in line for a long while. By the time we lit Sabbath candles, all we knew was that Rachel was still at the hospital waiting.

But the end of shabbat brought good news. Rachel and Ohad have a brand new beautiful baby girl! Rachel and baby are fine.

So the task at hand was to try to get to the hospital in Jerusalem to see her. Here are the details: Leah and I had to pick up her wedding gown, also in Jerusalem and drop it off at the hair and makeup lady’s house, about 10 minutes closer to our house. This necessitated an empty back seat in the car. Meanwhile, my husband, my sister, and my friend also wanted to go to the hospital. In addition, we needed to pick up the groom’s mother also in Jerusalem. As we added it all up, it was clear that we needed to use more than one car.

A friend’s son had told us that he would lend up his car if it was available when we needed it. Unfortunately, I didn’t have his phone number. So, I looked in the phone directory. It wasn’t there. Nor was his brother’s name listed. I looked on the online listings on the internet (it wasn’t there). I tried calling information, but they didn’t answer. I called his parents, but they were not home and their cell phone was not on. I called someone at our synagogue to which he belongs, but he didn’t have the number. I called the person who he in turn told me was a good friend of his, but he didn’t have it either. Finally I called one other person who I thought might have it and she asked if I had looked for it in the telephone directory! Fortunately, she had it. They were willing to lend us the car.

All’s well that ends well. Leah and I picked up the dress and veil, dropped it off, got to the hospital just as visiting hours had ended, but managed to see Rachel and the baby as well as Sam and Ofi who had hosted the Rachel’s three oldest children for the Sabbath (making 9 children in the home!—including 3 sets of twins!), and met up with my husband and sister and friend. Later we left and picked up the groom’s mother, and returned home safely.

We’re entering the home stretch. And we are entering it with a beautiful new little person accompanying us. We are blessed.

The disk is full or too many files are open

The wedding day is nearing. The guests are arriving from out of the country and we are working on a myriad of details, none of which seem important, but all of which must be handled. They have to do with coordinating and remembering things and making sure that all of the people and objects are in the right place at the right time. The dress must be picked up and then dropped off at the woman who does the makeup and hair. The flowers need to get to the wedding planner. The tables have to be planned and place cards written. And meanwhile, we need to continue enjoying life and to make sure that our guests are enjoying their time in Israel.

And so today, the phone rang as we were driving from Netanya to Modi’in, and it was our daughter Rachel. She told her father that her baby is going to be induced tomorrow. Inside of me, that little clump of tissue encased in my skull registered “tilt” or, in the modern vernacular “The disk is full or too many files are open.”

It reminds me a bit of times when we had two cars and we had dropped one off to be fixed and midday the dealer called to say it was ready to be picked up, and all I could think about was how I was going to be able to drive two cars home from his repair facility.

Sure. I can do this.

Sunday morning musings

The wedding is just a little over a week away and the activity level is rising. Our first guest from out of the country has arrived. The weather is cooperating with sunshine and all of the trees are budding, making our garden particularly lovely.

It’s early Sunday morning. Everything is quiet.

We are lucky. Everyone is helpful and cooperative. No one is being picky or petty. Just as my other children-by-marriage have found their ways into my heart, this new one has already made inroads.

When my children were young, all I wanted was for them to be healthy and to grow up to be good people. I never pictured their marrying and having children of their own. I never realized that I would be blessed with children who would give me such joy or marry people who I love as my own or produce the 20++ most adorable children in the world (OK, I’m prejudiced—I’ll admit it.)

I remember during my pregnancies being excited that with the birth, I would be meeting someone new, someone I would love and nurture and care about my whole life. I remember thinking of each child as a surprise package, coming with no instruction manual, functional description, or predicted behavior. The serious curiosity of one, the devilish grin of another, the smile that came upon awakening, the quiet contentment at play, and bubbly laughter were clues as to who they would become, but they were impossible for me to interpret. Raising each of them was a different task. Each child required something different from me. Always I hoped that I was nurturing each child in the best way. The days, weeks, years, seemed to require a constant reevaluation as more of their personalities evolved and as each became his/her own person.

I don’t really know if I was a good mother. I do know that I love the way my children have grown up. I know that no mother could be happier. And now that the last one is getting married, there is nothing but joy and gratitude to the Source of all blessings.

Happy Times

People are funny. They know what makes them happy. They work for happiness, plan for happiness, and when it happens, somehow, always wait for “the other shoe to drop.” Somehow, we feel that it is hard to be happy because the happiness is going to somehow end. As a fact of nature, that is true. All things end. Beautiful plants and trees die. Houses crumble. People leave us, both temporarily and permanently. But somehow, many people are so worried about the end of happiness that they don’t enjoy the current happiness.

I understand better than ever the Jewish custom of breaking the glass at the wedding ceremony to remember the destruction of the Temple. It makes perfect sense, because in this world there is no such thing as complete happiness. There is always the awareness of past pain and suffering, the memory of people who are not with us to enjoy the celebration, the longing for those people to share in our happiness. Yet, when the glass is broken, people respond with “mazal tov!!!!” and the music begins and the people return to rejoicing.

It is the way of the world. Our blessings come in the context of a reality that is not always so pleasant and happy. Yet, it is those happy moments that sustain us and give us the energy and the strength to go through the rest of life.

Yesterday I was recalling the times I spent with my four older children when they were young. I remembered reading them stories, doing art projects with them, taking them to the pool or to the park or to historic places. I remembered calling them “monkeys” and how they and I enjoyed their hi-jinx. I long for those days and yet know they are gone. I feel happy for them that they are experiencing those same types of joys with their own children. The happy times reside in me as places that give me comfort and happiness whenever I choose to remember them. The memories of good times, both major and minor, are treasures that we can always summon. The happy times are resources that we can treasure for our entire lives.

Happy Things

Today I had some interesting guests, among them: Mickey and Minnie Mouse, a cowboy and a cowgirl, a ninja warrior and the grim reaper, Gandolf and two prairie girls, an oriental beauty and a queen, a married couple, both of whom are pregnant, a gypsy, a lion, an elephant, a magician, a dog, and a bunny. They were all amazingly well-behaved, although a few of them had to be bribed with bananas, strawberries, and chocolate milk.

It’s nice to have a day to just be happy. It was wonderful to see the happy little and big faces. If the story of Purim is survival, then that indeed is something to celebrate, because in every period of history, there are those whose goal it is to destroy us and this one is not an exception. Yet, we not only survive, but we thrive. We enjoy warm celebrations, the kindness of our family and friends, the beauty of our country, the goodness of God.

Today as I walked in the garden with some of the little animals, we noted the new leaves on a number of our trees and the beginnings of buds on some of the fruit trees. Already it is feeling like spring and renewal.

This week, preparations for the wedding continue as my daughter had a fitting on her dress, bought her shoes, and now will be talking to the photographer, video person, and band. We will be calling to make sure we know who will be attending and we will be making up the placecards and sign-in poster. We will be getting in touch with the wedding planner and transferring to her the candles and candlesticks for the tables and we will be arranging for personal flowers. Ah, there’s so much more, but we’ll let you know when it’s all done. The wedding is in less than two weeks!

Top Ten Reasons I’m Glad to be Home

10. Unlimited opportunity to brag about my son to other family members
9. Smokeless environment
8. Warmer temperatures
7. Radio knows how to speak a language I can understand
6. Room lights turn on without inserting card in slot
5. Annoying chimes heard on the hour are in my living room, not in church located within deafening gonging distance
4. Access to heating food without walking down a long hall with a hot pot full of boiling water to pour over the sealed food packets in the sink a minimum of 5 times
3. No more Argentinian ready-to-eat kosher meals. (Don’t ask!)
2. Fewer lions dressed up in alpine costumes (at least for the next day or two)
And the number one top reason I have for being glad to be home:
My family (need I say more?)