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The State of the Bunion

June 3, 2008 by

What’s going on with me, you ask. OK, you didn’t ask, but I’ll tell you anyway…

Having returned from Crete feeling as energetic as some of the statues we saw there, I sat down and started to work on the presentations we’ll be making in the US on China/Tibet and Vietnam/Cambodia. The problem I have is not that I don’t have enough to present. I have way way way too much. And it’s hard to leave out beautiful, scenic, interesting, exciting places, but if I don’t want to have our audiences bring pajamas and pillows, I need to cut out a lot!

In addition to dealing with the logistics of the trip (flights, car rental, flights from LA to and from Seattle for the one-week Alaskan cruise!!!!!!!!) we have been going through a big repair on the house (now finished), my husband had a root canal early Sunday afternoon and then the first part of a dental implant procedure (that necessitated lots of stitches) late Sunday afternoon, and we have to prepare for Shavuot next week (hopefully some of our family will be joining us for a meal). And………

Tomorrow is the next installment of “The Bunion Blacklist” saga where we find out if making the appointment with all of the correct documentation and x rays but not having 6 weeks to spare to stay off my feet will land me right back on the famed list. Let’s hope it’s not the same doctor I saw last time I went to this hospital. Shortly after that visit, someone beat up a doctor at that hospital and I couldn’t but wish it had been he (it wasn’t). Of course I was not encouraged by the appointment letter I received on special hospital stationery that stated that my appointment was set (by them, of course) for 8:16 a.m. (no, that’s not a typo… 8:16) and to “come prepared for a wait of several hours.”

More tomorrow.

Filed Under: Ramblings

Crete

May 30, 2008 by

We returned in the early hours of the morning on Thursday from 4 days in Crete. We had visited Crete twice before for only a few hours while docked there and we had wanted to return. So, with the help of my older daughter who is excellent at finding bargains, we were able to go for a seriously decent price.

What can I say? The island is simply beautiful. It is lush. It is underpopulated. There are vast areas that just stretch out that are filled with trees and brush. There are olive trees everywhere. The sea is clear and clean near the shoreline, varying in color from aquamarine to ink blue. There are majestic mountains with picturesque villages.

We visited Knossos and Zakros, two of the three Minoan palaces. We saw Minoan relics at the archaeological museum in Heraklion. We saw Spinalonga, the Venetian built fortress that later was used as a leper colony. We strolled through Agio Nikolaus and Sitia. We enjoyed Chania, one of the most beautiful Venetian ports and the home of the only existing synagogue in Crete.

Some of the 300 pictures I took are available here

We enjoyed being in a lovely place with friendly people and beautiful music. A welcome change of pace!

Filed Under: Ramblings

Yes, the chickenpox as a non sequitur

May 23, 2008 by

As Sandy (comment on last posting) has pointed out, this is not my first noteworthy experience with chickenpox. In 1978 as I was giving birth to my baby in Wiesbaden, Germany, my oldest son was on a school trip to Strasbourg, France breaking out in chickenpox. This was 2 days before Passover (the baby was born Wednesday evening and Friday evening was the first seder.)

The baby and I returned home on Friday morning to a home filled with 4 very excited children, one of whom was very pocked. That evening, as my husband conducted the community seder at the Hainerberg Chapel, I conducted a very fast seder for my oldest son, my youngest son (six years old) and my nursing baby.

About two to three weeks later, roughly corresponding to the end of a visit from my parents (not always a tension-free time), the other 3 older children all broke out in chickenpox. But wait, there’s more… The weather in Wiesbaden was, as usual, cold and rainy– so cold and rainy that for the entire duration of the children’s chickenpox (17 years– or so it felt) none of them were able to go outside to play or just get some fresh air. So there we sat, three itchy, bored children (whose only recreation was fighting with each other), my only colicky baby (and the only one I nursed), and one very tired mom (me.)

When finally I could take no more, I sent the children back to school. I got a call from the school nurse telling me that they were not yet ready to come back to school. I told her that if they couldn’t go back to school tomorrow, I would need someone from child protective services over to my house. She told me that tomorrow they would be ready.

The baby didn’t get chickenpox– or at least not that I ever could tell. However, when she was 3 she developed a case of shingles that was so unusual that she was photographed for a medical journal.

******************************************************
Quoting http://www.nlm.nih.gov/medlineplus/ency/article/000858.htm
Herpes zoster, or shingles, is caused by the same virus that causes chickenpox. After an episode of chickenpox, the virus becomes dormant in the body. Herpes zoster occurs as a result of the virus re-emerging after many years.

The cause of the re-activation is usually unknown, but seems to be linked to aging, stress, or an impaired immune system. Often only one attack occurs, without recurrence.
*****************************************************
Many years??? Since we know that her immune system was fine- was it caused by aging? stress? (“oh that too too tough sandbox toy; how much sand will fit in it?”)

and that is the whole story. I swear by Kinneret’s pocks.

Filed Under: Family life, Parenting, Ramblings

A sewer, a tree, a laptop, and me — to say nothing of the beer bread

May 22, 2008 by

It’s been a quiet week in Lake Wobegon…. oh wait… that’s not my story to tell…

It’s been a busy week here. It all started about 9 years ago when I hired a highly recommended gardener to design our garden. When he finished, it was spectacular. It was only a few months later that I heard that ficus trees are noteworthy for sending out roots to enter one’s plumbing system. But the three he had planted (one very close to the house) were attractive and flourishing, and so we did nothing.

Once or twice, our pipes had to be cleaned and the sewer cleaned out to remove roots. However on Passover this year, we had a complete blockage of our plumbing in our master bathroom. It took three plumbers (or 4, if you count the one who went running away in fear) to get things working again (they fixed the toilet and then the shower didn’t drain properly- they fixed the shower and the floor drain rose…) so we decided to get a contractor to get the roots out of the system, see where the blockage was, and replace/reposition pipes. As the work proceeded, more and more of our patio needed to be dug up and then some of the Jerusalem stone at the front of the house had to be removed. The pipes, it turns out, were not joined properly and were placed at odd angles that didn’t help the flow…

Of course, while still in the middle of this, we decided to pull out the guilty tree which aside from shading our bedroom, shaded the front of the building and our patio and took up a good deal of the front garden. So we called a tree remover since the tree had grown well past the second story and was very full and lush. In just a few minutes, we had a lot of beautiful branches spread over the sidewalk.

So now the front of the house is not only bare, but it has a gaping wound (where they are fixing the pipes) and to say I feel somewhat exposed woud be an understatement.

And finally, the Dell laptop with the fabulous celeron processor finally got on my last nerve (among other cute baby tricks, every once in a while it decides that there is no internet connection over our LAN when the other two computers are just charging along with no trouble. Usually it takes at least three cold boots to get it back.) So yesterday we went and got a new laptop. Fortunately with the assistance of one of my fabulous genius sons-in-law (of which I am blessed with exactly 2), I was able to set it up with relatively little sweat (although I am a strange type of technophobe.) Now I just need to figure out how to prepare my travelogues for our trip to the States…

And speaking of trips… my husband (no, I am NOT implying that he is a trip) came up with an idea that I was wary of for the trips we lead. Kosher bread is not easy to get in some of the locations we visit and so he went trawling the internet and came up with an idea of making “beer bread” which looked easy to make because it had almost no ingredients, required no time to rise, and could be made in one bowl. I told him that I thought it complicated things, but this morning he baked two loaves and to tell the truth, it tasted pretty good.

How do I tie together a sewer, a tree, a computer, and beer bread? Only via non sequitur: Tomorrow I will be babysitting Princess Kinneret Kangaroo who has the chickenpox. It was a busy week.

Filed Under: Family life, Ramblings

Please join my cult

May 19, 2008 by

It has come to my attention that there are a number of cults here in Israel that are run by “rebbetzins” (rabbis’ wives). It seems that their followers believe that these women have a direct connection with the Creator of the universe and that by being part of their group, they will reap some benefits. For example, these leaders know what G-d is thinking, and that’s pretty important knowledge. In return for being a member of these cults, men have left their wives, mothers and fathers have been willing to beat and torture their children, and women have been willing to dress up in layers and layers of scarves and clothing that not only cover their whole body, but also their faces including their eyes.

So I got to thinking. My husband is a rabbi. In some weird way, that means that technically I am a rebbitzen. I certainly have as much access to the Creator of the universe as anyone else (who knows? maybe more….) So I have decided to start a cult.

Here’s what my loyal followers must do to show their devotion. I think it will be a bit easier in some ways than some of the other cults.

1. Respect the people around you. Treat them with kindness. Be patient.
2. Love the people in your family. Really love them. Smile when they enter a room, hug them when they are feeling sad, listen when they need to talk.
3. Take care of yourself. Eat healthy foods, get some exercise. Find time for some pleasurable activity. Don’t judge yourself or be too hard on yourself. You are human.

As to the contributions usually required to hear the prophecies, please give them to meaningful charities.

If you join my cult, I cannot promise you a trouble-free life, but I can promise you one that is meaningful and worth living.

Filed Under: Ramblings, Relationships, Spirituality

Out of step

May 16, 2008 by

I know that it is SO au courant to hate President Bush. After all, very intelligent people of the broadcast and print media have been telling me that “he ruined the country” and “no one likes or respects the US anymore.” But I have to tell you… I think that George Bush is one of the few political leaders who actually “gets it.”

And the “it” is the fact that there really are bad people out there who want to kill people and destroy countries and who cannot be talked out of it. And it seems so unbelievable. In the US, in most of western society, we were taught that people only wanted to attack others if the others were in someway oppressing them or threatening them. All the intended victim had to do was to give up power and apologize for their wrongs. Then, we would all live together in peace.

“All we are asking is give peace a chance.”

But is Ahmadinejad asking for peace? Is Hezbollah? Is Hamas? If I recall correctly, they are asking for the death of the Jewish people and the eradication of Israel. Hmmm… Shall we go and negotiate? What would the discussion consist of: “OK, do you want to nuke us, or shall we all just take cyanide?” “Shall we kill our children or do you want to do it?” Just how do you compromise with someone who wants you dead?

So Bush called it. He said, “Folks, it’s an illusion to think we can talk to them.” And Obama said,
something to the effect of Bush’s having pulled some sort of political maneuver…

Disgusting

So all of you really clever people who are not in the sights of Iranian weapons, you can think about how bad Bush was for saying that we can’t negotiate with people who want us dead.

But I say, “Well said, Mr. President!”

Filed Under: Ramblings

People talking without thinking*

May 11, 2008 by

The other night my husband and I went to see a play in Tel Aviv at the Cameri Theater. The plays are always in Hebrew because that is the language of the country, but some evenings they have a superscript in English- a short very-wide sign above the top of the curtain on which is projected the English translation as the dialogue progresses. That night we were surprised to see the play would be superscripted in English.

Not long after we sat down, a group of American tourists filed in and sat down. The woman to my husband’s right started to talk to him and to me and in the course of our conversation, she talked about the fact that they were having a total experience of Israel from museums to theater to lectures and places of interest. We mentioned that we are very careful to give the people who travel with us as rich an experience as possible. When we mentioned that we led tours to China, she said she was “boycotting China because they oppress their people and things are getting worse and worse.”

When we told her that although we think that a different form of government is desirable, the Chinese government has been taking very good care of its people and there is a sense of excitement and freedom in the country. The people everywhere we travel are smiling and happy– and we travel to numerous cities, some of them VERY far off the beaten path (one city we went to can only be reached by road- no airport, no train- and the ride to the next city takes 12 hours! Two cities we went to were ONLY 8 hours from the nearest city.)

And then I mentioned that in one village where we frequently take our groups, we used to take them to see how the village people lived. We took them to a place where we walked into an alley and to our left was the pig sty. It was also the bathroom (no plumbing). Further on, we entered a main room that was where people were born and where they were laid out when they died. There were 6 rooms that opened into the main room. Each room contained one family. In the back of the house there were two small, very primitive kitchens (water brought by bucket, cooking over fire.) This past October when I took my group to that village, the house had been razed and the people were living in brand new apartments that had been built in the few months since my last visit. Our local guide told us that no one in that village was living without indoor plumbing anymore.

The woman tourist we were talking to said, “But did the people have a CHOICE as to whether they wanted to move?”

On Hebrew we would say, “Nu- b’emet!!!” In English I said, “You have GOT to be kidding!”

My mistake. I shouldn’t have confronted her preconceived notions with the truth.

*Thanks to Simon and Garfunkle– I miss you guys!

Filed Under: China, Ramblings

A typical day

April 29, 2008 by

Every six months we drive into Jerusalem (about 30 kilometers/ 18 miles from here) to get our routine checkup on our car. Modi’in still does not have car dealerships, although they are on their way within a few months (of course the people who told us this were the same ones who told us that the train to Tel Aviv would be running from the center of Modi’in in 2005 (it started on April 1, 2008) and that the mall would also be open in 2005 (it has still not opened.)) The dealership we use seems to be honest and to do good work, so we enjoy taking the car there and using the day to walk around in Jerusalem.

Yesterday my husband and I and our younger daughter and her baby all set out for Jerusalem. We left the car and started walking in the direction of the center of the city. We stopped at the 2 sheqel store (a sheqel now is about $.29) where our granddaughter finally got her own cellphone. Seems her mother is pretty stingy about the use of hers. The rest of the day, the cellphone was a beloved companion.

As we walked down Jaffa Road, past all of the renovated area, we were on a street teeming with life- people of all sizes and shapes and colors dressed in all sorts of outfits– and everyone seemed to be having good time.

We passed by Machane Yehuda market, one of the most colorful areas of the city. We passed a row of jewelry stores. We found a new huge variety store and bought an Israeli flag to affix to our car in honor of Independence Day. We walked a little further and it was then I saw my husband’s cousin.

She didn’t expect to see us and so it took her a while to realize who we were, but then she was all smiles and she asked about our family and we asked about hers. We found out that a granddaughter of hers will be getting married soon and another is due to have a baby (they currently have 4 married granddaughters and one great-grandchild, a boy.) All, of course, is not perfect- and so there was talk about a grandson who was badly injured in an auto accident in the summer or early fall who is slowly recovering, but will probably not have a full recovery. There was talk about an immigrant woman from the US who she is trying to help, but who, alas, seems to engage in self-defeating behavior.

And then we walked on. We walked past the shoe stores and the cheap clothing stores and finally got to Cafe Rimon where we had lunch. After lunch we shopped some more and then I went to the place where we had bought the replacement remote for our TV a while back. The remote stopped working and I wanted to buy another one, but first I wanted to ask the man if he thought the problem was the remote or if it was the TV. So here is that conversation (although the original was in Hebrew)
Me: A year or two ago….
He: Or three or four
Me: I bought a remote for my JVC TV and I think it is broken
He: So give it to me.
Me: It’s at home.
He: So bring it in.
Me: I thought it would be really nervy for me to bring it in when I don’t even know when I bought it.
He: Bring it in.
Me: But I have no proof when I bought it.
He: It will take me a minute to check it out.
Me: I just want to buy a new one.
He: Nonsense! Bring it in and we’ll see.

Now to my American ear, this was a really strange encounter, but for people who live in Israel, it is not as rare. There is a feeling here among a lot of people that we are all in this together and we need to help each other. And it happens that storekeepers, bus drivers, virtually anyone who meets the public often will go so far beyond what they are required to do that you almost can feel yourself tearing up.

When people in the US think of aliya, they think of what they will be losing. I will tell you: nothing. It’s all gain. The houses are smaller, the cars are more expensive, and the people drive like maniacs, but from every other point of view, this life is far superior to anything I experienced in any of the 16 homes I had in the US and Germany. The weather is beautiful large parts of the year, the flowers bloom all year long. People know their neighbors and help them. Parents spend time with their children. Family recreation is a value here and on vacation days there are tons of activities at reduced cost and often at no cost.

And a typical day will always yield at least one encounter that will make you smile!

Filed Under: Israel, Ramblings

Decisions, decisions

April 27, 2008 by

There are times in people’s lives when they feel compelled to make a decision that in some way will lead them to variate from the norm. Some times these are decisions that come about because a person feels that he/she has principles or standards that are important to him/her. He or she may demonstrate for a cause, go on a march, distribute circulars, or wear clothing or buttons that indicate his/her support of an issue. Sometimes he/she will be restrained or arrested by police and yet the price seems worth it if the point is made. Assuming that the principle the person is fighting for is important, his/her stepping away from the norm is an educational experience for their children, showing them that the parent is willing to sacrifice for the sake of something important. Such an example would be the people who demonstrated against the expulsion of the Jewish population from Gush Katif. Although their parent may have chosen a path that led to suffering and inconvenience, the children knew what the parents’ values were and they saw them hold onto those values despite hardships.

Sometimes people step out of the norms of society for other reasons. Some such reasons are personal pleasure (like some elected officials who were caught frequenting places they shouldn’t have been), compulsion (like buying, using, and selling drugs), and obsessions taken to their logical conclusions (I hesitate to give an example but hopefully you will supply your own).

I believe that as human beings we have choices and we choose the behaviors we engage in. Pleasure can be had many ways. Of course we can spend pleasant time with our families. In an affluent society we have leisure time to take walks in nature, to people-watch, to sit and talk with a friend, to engage in sports, to see a play or a concert or a film, to draw, to take photographs, to join a dance class or a choir. The possibilities of healthy pleasurable pursuits are limitless.

When people have compulsive behaviors like using or drugs or alcohol that are or lead to illegal activities, there is help available. Often people need outside help to overcome their compulsive behaviors, but it is available. Large supportive communities exist to nurture people with these problems. Having the problem does not excuse one of responsibility for one’s actions.

In terms of obsessions, the individual is also responsible for his/her behavior. When I was a child my mother used to talk about people who claimed certain types of disabilities or patterns of behavior as having an “eingereteh zach” which I understood to be an issue that they convinced themselves into.

All of us have experienced inner dialogues that go something like this:

“I would like some ice cream, It sure would taste good. I think that mint chocolate chip would be delicious. Yes, that’s what I need. I sure would like it now. I really can’t wait. Yes, I think I’m going out to get it now.”

Sooner or later, that type of thought process leads to a store and some ice cream. But alas, they have chocolate and chocolate chip and strawberry, but no mint chocolate chip. Think about it enough and the quest is on. Until the mint chocolate chip ice cream is found, purchased, and eaten, there will be no peace.

Now let’s look at this logically: Ice cream is darned good food, but we don’t *have* to have it. If we allow it to be a stray thought, we can let it go and go on with our lives. But if we focus on it, it becomes an obsession.

I think that is true of some of the lifestyle changes people make that separate themselves from mainstream society. It is something that ranks a stray thought, but if one is a parent, after a short amount of consideration, it needs to be let go. And here is why:

Children, as I have said more than once or twice before, are people under construction. They are building their foundation, figuring out what their lives are going to look like, how they will fit into the environment. When a parent deviates from the norm, in general, it is the children who will be the most strongly affected. They become caught between the norms of society and their loyalty to their parents. The negative feedback they get from friends, teachers, neighbors about their parent’s lifestyle is something they are not equipped to defend and something they feel uncomfortable sharing with their parent. Children protect their parents from negative things and therefore they carry the burden of the societal displeasure on their shoulders.

When we have children we need to think about our choices and about how they will affect our children. Sometimes that means sacrificing something that seems like it would be fun. Sometimes that means giving up on a fantasy.

Remember, our children are our responsibility. They need to feel loved and secure and protected. They need us to put them first.

Filed Under: Emotional health, Family life, Parenting, Ramblings

In the moment

April 24, 2008 by

Last night we drove north to a place called Shuni, a fortress located between Binyamina and Zichron Yaakov. There was a concert in the Roman amphitheater of the music of Shlomo Carlebach. We met friends there– a woman we had been friendly with almost 40 years ago and her daughter who had attended nursery school with our son and her daughter who we have watched grow up in time-lapse as we get together about once a year. Since our friend who lives in the US visits her daughter who lives in the North, we always have to find a location that isn’t difficult for either of us.

In addition to spending time with really delightful people, we were in a setting that was remarkable. The beauty of the ancient walls, the texture of the stones, the clear, cooling night air, the beautiful lighting of the walls and the sparkling lights in the trees only added to the wonderful music which was spirited and and lively and sincere and moving– if all a bit loud. But the event was lovely.

As I sat there, I couldn’t miss the tens, if not hundreds, of cellphones that were glowing in the dark. I didn’t hear any of them ring (although with the music as loud as it was, I am not sure I could have heard even if they were ringing) but what I did see was people sending and receiving SMS messages and playing games like “Bejeweled” and “Tetris.” These people were involved in their leisure activity while all around them there was an amazing performance with spiritual overtones in a setting that was very special.

As I looked around, some of these people were parents and some were children and I begin to think about the fact that these people were unable to fully experience what they were in the middle of– unable to fully enjoy a concert that they had chosen to attend and had paid for. And they didn’t leave, they stayed there and allowed the concert to be background noise for their messaging or game playing.

I begin to think of how sad that is. With all the tumult of the world, with all we have to deal with on a daily basis, with concerns of daily life and of global issues, why is it that we can’t just enter an experience and experience it? Why can’t we be fully there, especially when we are in a place we’ve chosen to be?

It is a wonderful thing to just be. It is a glorious thing to sit and watch talented people perform and to watch them enjoy what they are doing. It is wonderful to allow the music to take you away to new thoughts, to plans, to happy memories. I think that when we don’t allow ourselves to do that we are robbing ourselves of the ability to fully experience life.

My father taught me the most important things I know about life. One of them is that you should treasure every moment. Every moment is full of possibilities. Each moment provides food for our senses and food for our mind. Each moment enables us to make new connections, find new insights, think of new possibilities. But that doesn’t happen if we dilute the experiences. By only being partly there, we rob ourselves of some of the most meaningful moments of our lives.

Filed Under: Emotional health, Ramblings
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