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A story with a moral

May 1, 2006 by

It was another one of those days in Israel when nothing makes sense. My daughter, having gotten her nails built before her wedding, has urged me to treat myself and finally today, I did.

The woman who builds nails is a lovely young woman with a pretty face that is almost perpetually smiling and an inviting manner. She enjoys what she does and I think more than anything, she enjoys talking with people.

And so, as we made small talk, she mentioned that her father was her hero. He is a really special person, she told me. She said that he owns a pet shop in a nearby town and I asked her where.

A couple of months ago, my daughter dog-sat. Her friend has a pretty white dog called Barbie and Barbie was a guest at my daughter’s house for three weeks or so. This delighted my daughter’s male dog, Poofy. However since her owners had been assured that Barbie was “’fixed,” no one worried about any consequences.

Shortly after my daughter’s wedding, she received word that Barbie was “with pups.” Clearly they were Poofy’s since only he had means, motive AND opportunity.

About a week ago, Barbie gave birth to 5 little white pups.

Whose owner buys dog food at the nail-builder’s father’s store.

The moral of the story: It’s a small world; you have to behave yourself.

Filed Under: Ramblings

Secrets of the Universe Revealed– Teflon Calories

April 25, 2006 by

There are lots of things that are true that most people don’t know. If you are like most people, then you have come to the right place because this is the first of several (don’t ask me how many; I have no idea) pieces on secrets of the universe.

Before I go further, I must put in a slight disclaimer: For years I have had clients come to me with all sorts of problems. What many of them reported to me was that there were things I said that helped them. Some of the things I said were truths. Others were thoughts that help people see things in a new way that perhaps is more entertaining, less toxic, and allows for more options. That is the intent of this piece and those that follow. If you take this seriously as diet advice, well, you may need more help than I can give over the computer.

And now to the topic of the day: Teflon calories

As you well know, when a woman eats, she adds calories. These calories conspire to conglomerate on her waist, midriff, stomach and other mentionable and unmentionable areas. Many women (myself included) don’t even need to eat for these calories to gain a foothold. Just the smell can add calories. Walking by a pizza place can make me gain a pound. Walking past any place that makes French fries can yield two pounds. Looking in a bakery window one time cost me five pounds.

However, all is not bleak. There are times when calories become Teflon. No matter how much they may want to stick, they keep falling off. Here are some of those times:

1. You child’s/grandchild’s birthday— It is well-known that birthday cake of a child or grandchild always contains calories that are Teflon for the mother or grandmother. It has to do with a very complicated genetic effect caused by the combination of the child’s blowing out of the candles (let’s not talk about what that does to the cake for the rest of the people) and the mother/grandmother’s DNA. Take it from me. I am related to a very famous geneticist and I am certain she will vouch for me.

2. Food that doesn’t taste good — If you are as polite (or obsessed with food) as I am, you may sometimes eat something that doesn’t taste good. It almost tastes good, but after you eat it, you realize that it didn’t and it really wasn’t worth the calories. Well, I have good news for you: if it didn’t taste good, the calories don’t stick.

3. Food you eat when you are being noble and need some reassurance – also called “comfort food,” usually carbs, the calories don’t stick when you are feeling as if you will take off someone’s head if you don’t have that ice cream right now or if you can’t write one more word of that paper without a serving of mashed potatoes. The bad thing is that the calories only become Teflon in true emergencies. The rest of the time they just pile on and laugh at you as you hope they are ignoring you.

I hope this has helped. Of course now you understand why I am particularly delighted with the birth of every new grandchild…

Filed Under: Ramblings

Happy Pesach!

April 10, 2006 by

I was thinking the other day about how nice computers are. They really serve so many purposes. They keep us in touch with people who are far away. They bring us news and information on demand, and they help us to organize things in our life.

However, after today, I am not so sure. Actually, I first became overwhelmed with the possibilities when I returned from China with my 1100 pictures and endeavored to put them in some logical order to show to others. Fortunately, the pictures were taken in order and therefore the digital camera numbered them consecutively, but when one of my children said, “Why don’t you just pick out 100 of the best?” I was not able to do it.

So today I brought home the pictures and CDs of my daughter’s wedding. In addition to the several hundred pictures taken by a friend of the family, we now have an additional 288 pictures. Well, first I had to copy the CDs. Then I had to take each file, open it, and then copy and paste all of the pictures onto my desktop computer. Once all of that was done, I had to download all of the pictures onto my laptop through the LAN. And now I really have to organize the pictures which for some reason are NOT in chronological order! Of course that means interspersing them with the other pictures of the wedding that we already have. I think it was easier when we brought home a stack of photos from the drugstore. We’d look through them and then throw them in a drawer. With film, we would limit the number of pictures we’d take. But digital cameras have made a virtue of excess.

Of course the pictures are beautiful. Everyone looks beautiful and everyone looks happy.

And now I return to the real world… where tomorrow is the day.

Every year as I gear up for Pesach, there is a sequence I follow. I won’t bore you with the details, but suffice it to say that tomorrow is the day that the fridge gets relined, the perishable items get bought, the dishes all go into the dishwasher for storage for the duration of the holiday, the counters and shelves get lined, the toaster and blender get exiled, and finally finally the counters get covered.

Then the Passover dishes will emerge and a certain lightness will enter my heart as the joy of the holiday supersedes all of the work that was necessary to prepare for it. And then will come the pleasure of cooking and baking and making the house look pretty for the guests. I happily anticipate the smiling faces who will join us this year: three of our children, their spouses, seven of the grandchildren, and my sister. A happy holiday to all!

Filed Under: Family life, Ramblings

May they continue

April 7, 2006 by

I am sitting here and wondering what will come out of my head as the white screen challenges me.

I suppose after weeks of such intense emotional experiences, sitting in my living room and listening to classical music and talking to my sister who is visiting from Philadelphia doesn’t qualify as high drama.

But isn’t that really what life is? Real life is made of moments of intense feeling and longer periods of just living. Life, if we are lucky, remains precious, even when it is as quiet and subdued as a Friday afternoon listening to music and enjoying the presence of people I love and thinking about the first roses blooming outside and the beginnings of the blossoms of the pomegranate tree and the first little plums on the plum tree that was in bloom only a couple of weeks ago. Life can be vastly satisfying when I realize that my children are healthy and happy and doing productive things. Life is beautiful when I think of all of the little growing Michelsons and Ariks and Inbars and how they add so much happiness to my world.

Sometimes I see clients who are living in their private torture chambers. They are racked with fear or emotional pain or terrible memories or anger or desire for revenge. I long to take them for a walk on my path. I want to show them that the world is a place with wonderful possibilities, with unlimited beauty, with opportunities for caring and kindness and love. I want them to be able to release the chains and to knock down the walls they have built around themselves and to appreciate the beauty of the breeze rustling the tree branches, moving the geraniums to wave from the window, to see the beauty of a smile, to feel the warmth of a caress.

The mundane itself is very special. It is the time we get to refuel to have the energy for all of our blessings. May they continue!

Filed Under: Emotional health, Ramblings, Spirituality

The Wedding

March 29, 2006 by

It was about 1:30 Monday afternoon. We had already dropped off the wedding gown to the place where Leah would dress. In the car were the boutonniers for the men, the flower crowns for the little girls, the bride’s bouquet, and the rose petals. We drove through the Judean Hills to the place where my youngest daughter would be transformed into a bride. When I returned to get her, she was radiant. Her face really was glowing. Her happiness was complete. The day had arrived. Just an hour or so earlier, her sister had called to tell her that despite having given birth to a little girl on Saturday, she would be able to attend the ceremony, on leave from the hospital.

My little bride and I left for the wedding hall, and everything that happened from that moment on was far beyond what we could have imagined. The room looked beautiful. In place of the tiny bud vases that they had agreed to supply with three roses, there were lovely flower arrangements on every table. The wedding planner had placed the candlesticks we brought on each table, had strewn rose petals, had taken care of every detail. The photographer took pictures of all of my beautiful grandchildren in their party clothes and fresh-scrubbed faces. The groom was waiting to begin with the tnaim and his mother and I broke the plate. All was ready.

I went to my daughter’s side. The men were bringing her groom to her. I will never forget the look on his face, the tears in my eyes, the tears running down the face of my older daughter, the happiness that filled the room. The groom left for the chuppah with his mother and we walked our daughter out into the Jerusalem night, stars gleaming, where, surrounded by love, they became husband and wife.

The joy burst into sparkle and fire as the groom’s friends, the jugglers, filled the hall with flying objects and mirth. The Dixieland Jazz band played its banjo and washboard as the jugglers performed. We danced with fans and leis and streamers.

Later, the groom sang to his Eishet Chayil, surprising us with his wonderful singing voice. Then the neices and nephews sang to their aunt and welcomed their new uncle to the family. As the wedding drew to a close, my husband and I and the groom’s mother were crowned with flowers for having married off our last child. Our grandchildren swept the floor with little brooms as was the custom for this song and our children danced around us. “It’s our baby daughter’s wedding.”

After the wedding, I took the young couple to the Kotel (Western Wall) where they went to pray. She was hugged by some of the few young women there who asked for her blessing, as a bride’s blessings are thought to be powerful.

I went home more than content. I was elated. They are full of happiness and carry a deep respect for each other. May G-d grant them a long healthy happy life together and bless them with children whose eyes will shine with the light of Torah.

Filed Under: Family life, Parenting, Ramblings

Beat the Clock

March 26, 2006 by

Rachel, our older daughter, was sent to the hospital to be induced on Thursday morning. We followed her progress by phone. By “progress” I mean progress in obtaining a room in which they would be able to induce her. Apparently all of the rooms were full– all of the rooms at Shaarey Zedek Hospital where she was, all of the rooms at Hadassah Ein Kerem, all of the rooms at Hadassah Mount Scopus! In short, unless you were about to deliver imminently, you were in line to be induced.

Thursday passed with no action. Friday brought the news that Rachel was 5th in line. By Friday afternoon, she was second in line, but then someone came and took her place and she remained second in line for a long while. By the time we lit Sabbath candles, all we knew was that Rachel was still at the hospital waiting.

But the end of shabbat brought good news. Rachel and Ohad have a brand new beautiful baby girl! Rachel and baby are fine.

So the task at hand was to try to get to the hospital in Jerusalem to see her. Here are the details: Leah and I had to pick up her wedding gown, also in Jerusalem and drop it off at the hair and makeup lady’s house, about 10 minutes closer to our house. This necessitated an empty back seat in the car. Meanwhile, my husband, my sister, and my friend also wanted to go to the hospital. In addition, we needed to pick up the groom’s mother also in Jerusalem. As we added it all up, it was clear that we needed to use more than one car.

A friend’s son had told us that he would lend up his car if it was available when we needed it. Unfortunately, I didn’t have his phone number. So, I looked in the phone directory. It wasn’t there. Nor was his brother’s name listed. I looked on the online listings on the internet (it wasn’t there). I tried calling information, but they didn’t answer. I called his parents, but they were not home and their cell phone was not on. I called someone at our synagogue to which he belongs, but he didn’t have the number. I called the person who he in turn told me was a good friend of his, but he didn’t have it either. Finally I called one other person who I thought might have it and she asked if I had looked for it in the telephone directory! Fortunately, she had it. They were willing to lend us the car.

All’s well that ends well. Leah and I picked up the dress and veil, dropped it off, got to the hospital just as visiting hours had ended, but managed to see Rachel and the baby as well as Sam and Ofi who had hosted the Rachel’s three oldest children for the Sabbath (making 9 children in the home!—including 3 sets of twins!), and met up with my husband and sister and friend. Later we left and picked up the groom’s mother, and returned home safely.

We’re entering the home stretch. And we are entering it with a beautiful new little person accompanying us. We are blessed.

Filed Under: Family life, Ramblings

Sunday morning musings

March 19, 2006 by

The wedding is just a little over a week away and the activity level is rising. Our first guest from out of the country has arrived. The weather is cooperating with sunshine and all of the trees are budding, making our garden particularly lovely.

It’s early Sunday morning. Everything is quiet.

We are lucky. Everyone is helpful and cooperative. No one is being picky or petty. Just as my other children-by-marriage have found their ways into my heart, this new one has already made inroads.

When my children were young, all I wanted was for them to be healthy and to grow up to be good people. I never pictured their marrying and having children of their own. I never realized that I would be blessed with children who would give me such joy or marry people who I love as my own or produce the 20++ most adorable children in the world (OK, I’m prejudiced—I’ll admit it.)

I remember during my pregnancies being excited that with the birth, I would be meeting someone new, someone I would love and nurture and care about my whole life. I remember thinking of each child as a surprise package, coming with no instruction manual, functional description, or predicted behavior. The serious curiosity of one, the devilish grin of another, the smile that came upon awakening, the quiet contentment at play, and bubbly laughter were clues as to who they would become, but they were impossible for me to interpret. Raising each of them was a different task. Each child required something different from me. Always I hoped that I was nurturing each child in the best way. The days, weeks, years, seemed to require a constant reevaluation as more of their personalities evolved and as each became his/her own person.

I don’t really know if I was a good mother. I do know that I love the way my children have grown up. I know that no mother could be happier. And now that the last one is getting married, there is nothing but joy and gratitude to the Source of all blessings.

Filed Under: Family life, Parenting, Ramblings, Spirituality

Top Ten Reasons I’m Glad to be Home

March 10, 2006 by

10. Unlimited opportunity to brag about my son to other family members
9. Smokeless environment
8. Warmer temperatures
7. Radio knows how to speak a language I can understand
6. Room lights turn on without inserting card in slot
5. Annoying chimes heard on the hour are in my living room, not in church located within deafening gonging distance
4. Access to heating food without walking down a long hall with a hot pot full of boiling water to pour over the sealed food packets in the sink a minimum of 5 times
3. No more Argentinian ready-to-eat kosher meals. (Don’t ask!)
2. Fewer lions dressed up in alpine costumes (at least for the next day or two)
And the number one top reason I have for being glad to be home:
My family (need I say more?)

Filed Under: Family life, Ramblings

Travels with my son II

March 7, 2006 by

On day two of our trip to Munich, after the business meeting, we took the subway to Marienplatz, the central square in the downtown walking area Snow is still everywhere as they continue to dig out of the 60 centimeter (24 inch) snowfall of last Friday and Saturday. There are still cars buried in the snow, only a bit of the top of their windshield showing so that a passerby can guess what is under the mountain of snow. From time to time during the afternoon, there were flurries.

People were out walking and stores were open and there was a street performer playing the accordion. The city is dotted with statues of lions in many different poses. Each is specially painted and reflects the theme of its surroundings. The one in front of a bar is wearing a laurel wreath and holding a bottle of wine. The one in front of the confectionery store is painted as if he is made of white and dark chocolate. The one in front of the clock store has markings like a clock and the one in front of the Vodaphone store held red balloons and was wearing a red Vodaphone cap.

Our eyes caught a sign that advertised a special exhibit at the toy museum in honor of 100 years of the teddy bear. How could we resist? The museum was housed in a tower off the main square and to enter we walked through a wooden door up a stone spiral staircase for two floors. When we got to the room at the end of the staircase, there was a sweet old lady and a lot of toys in a room that was no larger than most people’s living rooms in Israel (small) and she was selling the tickets. By this time, we had made enough of a commitment to continue and buy the tickets to see the exhibit. We took the elevator up three more floors and found a room the exact size of her reception room that had lots of teddy bears (including one threadbare bear) and some other toys. Each of the two other rooms on each floor as we descended was the same. The toys were very old, many made of tin and many that were wind-up toys. The variety of bears was interesting. It included some that had been used as to house hot water bottles, baby feeding bottles, and all sorts of pouches and purses.

We walked through a market with beautiful flowers, huge luscious roses with a heavy rose scent. We saw pussywillow, something I hadn’t seen for years. We were able to smell the hot wurst being served at the array of stands as we walked and to smell the sweet smell of the gluwein, a warm cinnamon-flavored wine.

We walked into a few stores and saw cuckoo clocks and music boxes and nutcrackers– all of which awakened fond memories. There I was with my son, the same one who had, when we were living in Wiesbaden, asked for a cuckoo clock for his 5th birthday, looking once again at cuckoo clocks!

As our train headed back to the little village where we are staying, we sat happy and tired from a long fruitful day.

Filed Under: Ramblings

Travels with my son

March 6, 2006 by

My son has a business conference in Munich this week and I offered to come along with him. We took off this morning, a bright sun-filled day from Ben Gurion Airport near Tel Aviv. The last few days have been sunny and mild and although I knew that the weather in Munich could be quite different and I dressed for the colder weather, I never expected that after our stop in Istanbul, we would approach Munich and see only white below us. As we got closer to the ground, the scene became more and more beautiful. By the time we left the plane we could see that probably 12 inches of snow had fallen and the world was a beautiful white-iced cake.

At passport control in Munich, first my son and then I went to the window. The woman asked if we were traveling together. After he was waved through, it was my turn and I told the attractive young woman that I was his mother. She said, “Oh, I thought you were his wife.” I said, “No, his wife is young and beautiful.” She said, “That is what I thought.” It made my day.

But what really made my day was when we finally emerged from the train and began walking toward the inn where we are staying. The air was fresh and clear and cool, but not cold. We walked along the empty street past beautiful manicured houses with warm lights and fine woods visible through their windows and past a stately church and the city hall as barely a car drove by. The snow beneath our feet felt fresh and crunched as we walked, pulling our suitcases behind us. Aside from the sounds of our feet and suitcases, it was almost silent outside. I had forgotten how tranquil and peaceful the snow is. I hadn’t expected such a wonderful treat.

Filed Under: Family life, Ramblings
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